• barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    We got married in St Lucia back in the 90s, and we’ve been trying for several years to get a copy of our marriage certificate so my wife can get her ID updated. We’ve sent them the money ($10) several times, filled out all the proper documents and followed all the rules (which have changed a few times), and then we hear nothing. After a few months, we try again. There is no option to do it online.

    At this point, we are seriously considering getting her a legal name change through the American courts. It will be more expensive, but at least it will work.

    I would advise any woman who is getting married to keep her own name, and not change it to her husband’s. Dont even hyphenate it. Changing your name is a stupid old custom anyway, I cant believe feminists didn’t go after it long ago.

    • MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      I got married in 1976 and didn’t change my name. My mother cried when I told her. “People will think your children are illegitimate!” At work I had to go to HR and explain, they acted like I had lost my mind.

    • roscoe@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      Is going down to the courthouse and getting married again not an option? Not that you should have to do that, just curious.

      Edit: I mean your local courthouse so you don’t have to deal with this anymore.

        • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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          2 days ago

          The Marriage License is held in St Lucia, a Caribbean island nation. While I would love to go down there to get it in person, I don’t have the budget nor the time to do that right now.

          • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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            2 days ago

            You can just go to your local courthouse and say “we would like to be married” and they will issue a valid US marriage certificate you can then send on to Uncle Sam. No beed to get St. Lucia involved at all. Legally you’ll be married on that date, but you don’t have to change your anniversary or anything.

            • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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              2 days ago

              Valid. That’s definitely a potential option. We’d have to find out if there are any legal downsides to rejecting 30+ years of legal marriage. Does a long marriage have any advantages over a new marriage?

      • barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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        2 days ago

        We’ve considered that, but we are already legally married, I’m not even sure you can get legally married a second time, even to you current spouse.

        I suppose we could roll the dice and get a divorce first, and see if either one of us bails before the re-marriage.

        Just kidding, heh-heh…kind of…