Everyone has to stop this cycle of violence, and by everyone, I mean the people demanding I give back their house I stole. Don’t they know all this violence just makes me take more houses? It’s just such a complicated issue and if you think it’s simple you’re racist towards me.

I actually verbally disavow the actions of my predecessors now that it’s conveniently too late for that to matter, but if you bring up actual change like reparations I will suddenly become a sagely monk and tell you that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

I will then immediately drop the monk act when it’s time to support the next war.