so when i was younger, my dad gifted me a book he helped write. i was in second grade and it was his only copy. i got bullied a lot at that school and someone must have stolen it. either way, it was over a decade ago. people laughed at me and the teacher yelled at me to sit back down, and i remember leaving to get something and checking back and it was gone.
my dad will switch often between being very nice and loving, then mad and stuff over the book, for example, then when i say idk where it is, he sends a bunch of heart emojis, acts more excited than usual, and says “thank you anyway!!! <3”
furthermore, he will get into arguments easily which is also why he cant land a job, and then will get mad when someone is not “on his side”, calling people traitors and stuff for refusing to do favors for him and switching between really kind and loving to really mean and angry when someone doesn’t do what he wants.
he’s too self-absorbed to get a diagnosis and not self-aware enough, but everyone says he’s narcissistic.
I’m not into psychology stuff but it is NOT normal.
My father is narcissistic but it’s not one minute or the other. He acts nice in front of other people, and abusive when he is only with me. Like he would say I’m the greatest programmer ever when talking about me, but would tell me that I’m a failure and I don’t know how to use a computer when I visit him and no one else is at home.
Suffice to say that if my mother dies first, I won’t talk to him anymore and he’ll be alone. But he will still complain that I abandoned him because I’m a bad guy.
My mother is very similar and I’m pretty sure she’s a narcissist. She could also switch between “Have fun at the playground my darling! I’ll have your favorite dinner ready when you come back!” to “Why did you come back?? I’m sick of you! Get lost and don’tcome back! Having children was the worst mistake of my life!” within an afternoon.
So no, it’s not normal.
Isn’t that like bipolar disorder? Or am I misunderstanding the meaning of bipolar?
That’s more Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD). That very basically means their emotional states are usually at an extreme no matter what the mood is. Bipolar is a general shift of mood over longer periods of time, and BPD means about every emotion becomes their current state of being, overpowering many logical ways of expression in the moment.
Of course I’m really simplifying it, but… well, not a psych.
My understanding is that bipolar people are swinging between depression and a manic state. Also these state last usually several days. My mother has a bunch of other symptoms of NPD, not just that one.
Oh, i see. I thought it was a more sudden, on the spot shift.
That sounds a bit like borderline.
I’m nothing like a psychologist though, just a possibility :)
Hmm, maybe!!
Short answer: no, that’s abuse.
It’s entirely possible that he’s a narcissist, from what you describe - especially if other people are saying that as well. Mind you, that’s not the important part.
The important part is that this is obviously hurting you. And something tells me this isn’t the only thing that he does that messes you up. Do whatever you can do get out of that household. It ain’t gonna be easy, but it will be worth it. Trust me.
My mom would cuddle with me and then yell at me
She is the person I’m most emotionally attached to, and simultaneously someone I’m terrified of…
Ummm can he not buy another copy? Had he not published it yet or something?
Those kids are really fucked up.
maybe he didn’t publish it, i assume
All on him for giving it to you.
If it was about 10-15 years ago, computers existed so he coild have had a back up copy too.
Sounds like he needs mental health help. Could be as simple as undiagnosed autism or something more complex like a complete memtal break down. Sounds similar to my mother who i have been very at odds with throughout my life but she has legitimate trauma to work through. You can get your dad taken to receive psychiatric care against his will, but it’s probabky best if you and your family arrange an intervention for him or something - i.e a professionak arrives and you all sit down together and convince him to recdive some medical assistance.
turns out it was for nothing. it was hidden in his house the whole time.
he does seem to have autistic traits, if he is autistic I know where I get it from, but he’s also very “autism is a nasty disease” and a conservative
He’s still cut up over something that happened over a decade ago?
yes…
At least he abides by the phrase
“Water under the bridge”
They built a bridge over a sewage pond apparently.
I knew someone who was like this; eventually they discovered lawyers, and all their relationships fell apart, including their marriage. They seemed to think that punishing someone by suing them (even if they lost — it was always their lawyers fault then) was a way of resolving their relational difficulties.
