You’ll basically be doing self therapy. Worth doing some writing or deep thinking on where this aggression is coming from. Reading or hearing podcasts or watching media on the subject tends to help. I would say this needs thinking about in the “cold state” (i.e. when not in heightened emotion and while completely calm and relaxed, but remembering the last undesirable event). Then you can work incrementally on what you can change next time.
Here’s an episode from a podcast I like, to get you started:
When mild-mannered David Banner gets mad he transforms into the raging Incredible Hulk. Dr Laurie Santos loves this comic book tale - because it reflects real life. Intense things like anger, pain, even hunger, can cause us to act in extreme ways that we might not predict beforehand or forgive after.
(She must have gotten so so so many messages for calling him “David Banner”.)
Thank you for sharing that podcast. I think it will help to revisit past experiences from the cold state.
What you said reminds me of the Snickers commercial, “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry.” I’ve been using HALT a lot to recognize when to take a break from whatever activity I’m in.
Meditation. I have anger issues, and I find first you must recognize it in yourself, then you can choose how to act. I walk away rather than get all riled up. I love a good argument, but sometimes you just shoot yourself in the foot when you start seeing red. Being able to find a meditative state will help you step back from the aggression when it arises in you
Like I feel mad at someone specific at work, in an inward way, but it is not really about them, it is about how we are both in an imperfect system that influences our behavior, kind of like in the Wire, and puts us at odds.
I feel like maybe if I had an outlet where it was OK to get aggressive that might be healthy, but I don’t like to feel aggressive normally.
Like maybe I can play Catan online with someone and try to dominate. In the past I might have played League of Legends, but I didn’t like how that made me feel either.
In person or online?
If it can’t physically affect you, you can safely ignore it. If it can, best to stay out of its way.
What if I have the aggression?
Just have main character syndrome and ignore the NPCs
-Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood NPC
:P
You’ll basically be doing self therapy. Worth doing some writing or deep thinking on where this aggression is coming from. Reading or hearing podcasts or watching media on the subject tends to help. I would say this needs thinking about in the “cold state” (i.e. when not in heightened emotion and while completely calm and relaxed, but remembering the last undesirable event). Then you can work incrementally on what you can change next time.
Here’s an episode from a podcast I like, to get you started:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9WZgqcu3QE
Or actual audio podcast of you prefer:
https://podcastindex.org/podcast/453567?episode=33418257763
Hulking Out! Why You Change When You’re Angry
When mild-mannered David Banner gets mad he transforms into the raging Incredible Hulk. Dr Laurie Santos loves this comic book tale - because it reflects real life. Intense things like anger, pain, even hunger, can cause us to act in extreme ways that we might not predict beforehand or forgive after.
(She must have gotten so so so many messages for calling him “David Banner”.)
Thank you for sharing that podcast. I think it will help to revisit past experiences from the cold state.
What you said reminds me of the Snickers commercial, “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry.” I’ve been using HALT a lot to recognize when to take a break from whatever activity I’m in.
Hungry
Angry/Anxious
Lonely
Tired.
Meditation. I have anger issues, and I find first you must recognize it in yourself, then you can choose how to act. I walk away rather than get all riled up. I love a good argument, but sometimes you just shoot yourself in the foot when you start seeing red. Being able to find a meditative state will help you step back from the aggression when it arises in you
Like being aggressive towards others irl, find yourself rage spiraling, or something else?
Like I feel mad at someone specific at work, in an inward way, but it is not really about them, it is about how we are both in an imperfect system that influences our behavior, kind of like in the Wire, and puts us at odds.
I feel like maybe if I had an outlet where it was OK to get aggressive that might be healthy, but I don’t like to feel aggressive normally.
Like maybe I can play Catan online with someone and try to dominate. In the past I might have played League of Legends, but I didn’t like how that made me feel either.