I’m not really sure if I have adhd or not at the moment and I just realised this. I’m not sure if this is related to adhd at all but I just find it weird looking into peoples eyes, when I listen to people I usually look out a window or something and sometimes people ask me weather I am listening and I didn’t even realise I was looking out a window I kind of just assumed they knew I was listening.
Also as a side note, I have a lot of symptoms of adhd but I’m not sure if to enough of an extent, since I see a lot that everyone has the symptoms of adhd just not to the extent of someone that actually has adhd has.
Do you also have that one comment in the bottom of your lemmy inbox that you’ve been meaning to respond to for the last several weeks or months but you keep putting it off?
Do you also sit on your couch or bed and just stair out the window for like 30 minutes or longer at a time?
I also have struggle focusing on school work, this hasn’t always been the case but it’s a lot more now. Once the coffee from the morning wears off I can’t focus for long enough to finish a small portion of a single Maths question before I’m staring out the window thinking about something completely unrelated, then about 5-10 minutes later I realised I’m distracted.
You’ve probably also noticed a pattern at this point, I love staring out windows!
I don’t struggle with eye contact because I purposefully avoid it.
I can’t think when I’m focusing on making eye contact with someone.
Like. I’m looking at you in the eyes or I’m paying attention to what you’re saying but I can’t do both.
When I was a kid yes but my dad took it as disrespect so i traded it for masking and general anxiety
Look at the ground and orient my ear towards them or I’m not hearing anything they say
I start to think about which eye to look at and that distracts me, so for close friends I do much less eye contact than with people I’m meeting or working with
*AUDHD
Yeah I also tend to face away (like sideways) from people when talking to them. I just dont like looking at people’s eyes when talking. I dont mind shaking their hand or looking at their eyes when they talk though
This sounds pretty similar to my experience. I have a hard time looking at just one thing for any stretch of time, and eye contact is especially difficult, because it makes me think about what I look like, which is another distraction from the conversation that I’m probably already missing
To me this sounds like AuDHD, but this is obviously far from a diagnosis and I’m not a professional, I merely have read so much that I sometimes know better (lol)
Jokes aside, try this: https://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
It’s so far the only online test that gets somewhat close to what a diagnosis would probably say and I’ve asked diagnosticians and they said it’s useful to get a first idea whether to seek a diagnosis, as this mostly looks the same as their questionnaires. Don’t forget to save the PDF with the full results at the end or you will have to do it again.
Yeah ok thanks. I am currently looking into getting profesionally tested.
Depending on your country it can sometimes take years to get an appointment, so you might have to ask several places and be patient. That’s why many people educate themselves and self-diagnose before they finally get an official diagnosis. Which makes sense, as it is mostly about understanding yourself better and not much else, so there’s little risk something could go wrong there, lol.
Avoiding eye contact is typically associated with autism, but there is a lot of overlap between autism and ADHD. See also AuDHD
I often get overwhelmed with too much information when making eye contact, and I’m rarely able to listen/understand while making eye contact. The easiest way for me to listen is to be looking anywhere else. This does not always go well in a corporate environment, and did not go well when my parents were trying to reprimand me.
Phone calls or online meetings instead of face-to-face meetings can help (if you can cope with that). Otherwise, learning when eye contact is socially necessary and when you can relax a little can go a long way (or so I’ve heard, I still haven’t mastered this one).
See also ! AuDHD @ lemmmy.world (edited to remove link)
That link doesn’t work. Correct link [email protected]
do kinda doubt I have autism. I have many pretty good friends and while I do find it uncomfortable talking to new people I think thats pretty normal to some extent. Although I may be wrong.
I definitely am like that and definitely am autistic.
Did you know autistics not only often struggle to talk to new people, but can also have friends… unlike what many people claim?
Also, please don’t say “have autism”, that’s painful to read. People might be autistic, but they don’t “have” it.
Another thing to avoid: “person with autism” (It is: autistic person)
Sorry, I will have a look into the other symptoms of autism.
There are no specific symptoms, it’s too complex. There are things that often occur, but for some people the opposite might be true and they are still autistic.
The best to learn more is to read as much as you can and make sure what you read is good quality, as there’s a lot of bullshit out there when it comes ro autism.
I am right there with you. Eye contact makes me so uncomfortable, and I listen so much better when I’m looking at nothing.
I do but I also have autism. For me it’s definitely more of an autism thing. I’m curious what it is for ADHD folks in here.
Do you also sit on your couch or bed and just stair out the window for like 30 minutes or longer at a time?
Yes!
I just found an old recording of me watching an entire washing machine cycle as a kid, I have no memory of this wth.
I remember to have watched the whole cycle the first time we got a washing machine, and suspect I’m autistic.
I don’t do it intentionally, but my wife often tells me to look at her when she’s talking so she knows I’m listening.
The rest you wrote sounds a lot like ADHD inattentive type, especially executive distinction. And caffeine is a stimulant which can have similar effects as meds. If you can still sleep without problems or even better after drinking coffee, that’s an additional indication.
The problem with ADHD is that most of our struggles are things “everybody has once in a while” but it’s so much more often and extreme that it makes our lives harder.
Get checked if you have the possibility.
Coffee does help but I dont notice it a ton, and it only lasts for like 2 hours.
I always thought caffiene was overhyped because it had like no effect on me. But now i have noticed it helps me focus.
Yeah, that’s why I drank about 8 coffees a day before I even suspected having ADHD. I just knew I can work better with it and thought that this is the effect others experience too when they say that they need one.
If you can still sleep without problems or even better after drinking coffee, that’s an additional indication.
I wish I had known this was a symptom decades ago. Ever since I started drinking coffee, I knew it didn’t keep me up, but I only found out I was ADHD a few years ago.
Same here. Never understood when people didn’t drink coffee after dinner, saying that they wouldn’t be able to sleep all night.
Try stimulant meds + caffeine and you’ll find out :)
Caffeine without stimulants will do something similar to only stimulants, but combined those have an effect much like what a neurotypical person would experience using only caffeine.
Yes I learned this lesson pretty fast after changing meds. I started with methylphenidat and took it for two years, with that caffeine had the same effect as b without stimulants. But after trying different doses I wasn’t happy with the result, so I changed to Elvanse. Now I drink 2 or 3 cups a day but also don’t feel the need for more.
I used to look down but then I got para that the person would think I was staring at their chebs so now I just look at the eyebrows.
Not that it matters because I usually forget what was said within seconds anyway.
I grew up in a rural area during the 80/90’s so any diagnosis would just be ‘shy or awkward kid’
Looking at someone’s chebs is natural. It’s right there, and it just sticks out. Sometimes people show a bit too much chebs though, and you can kinda see the knee weenus.
What’s a chebs, hobbits?
Im out of the loops but chebs appears to refer to a wooden box with a hinged lid that you can store blankets inside of
You really telling me you went your whole life without stretching your chebs?
I have never knowingly stretched chebs!
