Only if you’re lucky!

Now that you mention it, I’m even more excited to experience the living goo in a shell phase!

And I probably wouldn’t get most of the references because that’s about when I quit paying attention.

Miscarriage?

I’d come back as a butterfly.

Nobody ever suspects the butterflies!

Is this about your cousin again? Why does it bother you so much that nobody told you about his success?

Personally, if my son owned a business and became a millionaire, I would feel like I’m bragging about it every time I mentioned it. Although I do enjoy bragging about my son, I wouldn’t want a relative telling me how much more successful my cousin was compared to me. I wouldn’t want to be that person.

You said you rarely talk to these people, so why would you expect them to go out of their way to tell you any of these things? Have you told all of them about all of your accomplishments?

I don’t even know how to find out what prostitutes charge in my own area.

Googling it would be much easier.

It’s still practice, so go for it, but keep in mind that practice makes permanent.

If you are your only critic, you can’t learn new things or stop doing three things that are holding you back.

When I’m watching TV, I try to predict what the punchline is going to be. Sometimes I get it spot on, and other times, I think mine is better than what they came up with. It’s not worth any notoriety, but it’s fun creative practice.

Absolutely! It teaches you to come up with new original ideas on the fly. It’s a mental exercise that keeps your mind quick.

If a child is learning basic math, and uses a calculator for every single problem, are they actually learning how to add and subtract, or are they just learning how to recite the information that is provided to them when they push the right buttons?

Do you think that they’ll eventually understand how multiplication and division works, or do you think that after 20+ years of ONLY using a calculator that they’ll be as lost as a second grader without one?

You don’t get better at writing by letting something else do it for you. Sure, it might be easier, and it might write better than you do at this moment, but you’ll never get any better if you aren’t putting in the effort yourself and learning from your embarrassing efforts of the past.

ALWAYS make sure autocorrect didn’t change it from bath water to birth water before you confirm your order.

That nose flopping about would probably be entertaining.

Clearly you haven’t been to EPCOT.

Kindergarten teacher shows up for the first day of school:

“I’m in the wrong room!”

Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m the dumbest genius or the smartest idiot.

It was only a few years ago that journalists seemed to realize that Millennials had jobs and kids. I’m thinking about college for my kids and “Millennials unable to adapt to the work force” articles are still being written. Bitch, we ARE the work force!

He seems to be the type that curses Capitalism only because he isn’t at the top of it. He doesn’t want to tear down the system, because he jumps at every chance he gets to join the world of the aristocrats.

Blind confidence?

What a birdbrained thing to do.

Your cat and I would get along just fine.