I’ll go first…after 10 years of speculating in the market (read: gambling in high risk assets) I realized I shouldn’t ever touch a brokerage account in my lifetime. A monkey would have made better choices than I did. Greed has altered the course of life many times over. I am at an age where I may recover from my actions over the decades, but it has taken its toll. I am frugal and have a good head on me, but having such impulsivity in financial instruments was not how I envisioned my adulthood. Its a bitter pill to swallow, since money is livelihood of my family, but I need to “invest” all I have into relationships, meaningful moments, and fulfilling hobbies.

  • Zenith@lemm.ee
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    22 minutes ago

    I was causing most of my own problems by having too many expectations that weren’t actually necessary

  • SpiceDealer@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 hours ago

    That trauma is not an identity and if I want to grow as a person I have to resolve that trauma and let go of the past.

  • morphballganon@mtgzone.com
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    4 hours ago

    When people told me I was smart as a child/young adult, what they really meant was I was showcasing a skill they lacked, which the overwhelming majority of people don’t give a shit about an adult having.

  • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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    5 hours ago

    Yes… quitting all your jobs and becoming homeless is much better then getting abused 80 hours a week by your 3 employers

    But there can be a better way.

  • tamal3@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    I realized at about 20 that I can really hurt people by trying to whitewash reality and sweep the bad away.

    I also have a hard time making friends and then maintaining those relationships. Would like to get better, but apparently not enough to actually do so? We’ll see. Life is searching.

  • aceshigh@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    That I come from a highly dysfunctional family and my entire personality is a reaction to them. I knew they were dysfunctional but I was in denial about their impact. Connecting with my true self had been a bitch.

    • Dae@pawb.social
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      3 hours ago

      Relatable tbh. I think a good part of it was depression in my younger years, but, I used to be an incredibly angry person.

      It took a long time for me to accept that the truth is, you don’t get angry about shit you don’t care about. Hard to accept that half the things I’d get angry at weren’t worth it. The other half anger just wasn’t a helpful response. Been a long process of learning to have a better reaction for me.

    • rainrain@sh.itjust.works
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      11 hours ago

      You are me.

      I play shitty passive-aggressive mindgames. When I bleed, scorpions and stinging-flies spawn from the puddles.

  • Wahots@pawb.social
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    12 hours ago

    I’ve started noticing that I’m echoing some of the bad habits of my father, either behaviorally or genetically, I’m not sure which. I’m determined to never go down that path because I’ve seen what it’s done to our family. I’ve made some changes that will hopefully head that off. If those don’t help, there’s always professional help.

    Still, depressing to realize.

    • whelk@lemm.ee
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      11 hours ago

      Similar boat. It helps to have someone who is willing to (kindly and patiently) call you out on it, with the understanding that it’s what you want them to do. Good luck, stay strong and be confident that acknowledging the issue and wanting to change are huge steps you’ve already taken

  • pikanut@lemmy.ml
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    13 hours ago

    The realization of how truely alone I am when everything started collapsing after our house was sold and how my parents who supposedly were suppose to love me, don’t love me and how I do have daddy issues because of this and I am not exactly as strong mentally as I thought of myself to be.

    • grumpusbumpus@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      I read somewhere that if you’re angry when you’re driving, you’re actually angry about something not driving-related. It’s just manifesting while you’re behind the wheel.

    • Truffle@lemmy.ml
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      7 hours ago

      7Hey fellow road rager! I too suffer from this aillment while knowing at the same time that it could be life threatening if I cross paths with an armed short fused a$$hole. I live in a very high traffic city with stuff to do on both sides of it, taking my kid to some classes results in a two hour commute and then two hours back home. Not easy and it makes me want to light my hair on fire sooooo me and my kid play the “maybe” game:

      Maybe that guy cut me off because he is pooping in his pants (Kid laughs and it Takes the edge of me bursting into flames)

      Maybe that lady trying to pass me in a not so nice way is late for her flight to (insert whatever place you/your kid think of and talk about what things you’d like to do there. While in Italy, for example, we thought about asking for a pizza with pineapple on it and putting a clown wig on the David)

      I could go on and on (I won’t) but the main thing is to redirect my anger as energy to somewhere else.

      I find it amusing when I do it with my kid because it helps us connect while spending time together. When I am by myself I play it too, but the NSFW version: This guy is tailgating me because he cannot wait to get pegg3d when he gets home. Etc etc. I chuckle for a bit and let it pass. Not kink shaming anyone at all.

      Maybe I am a bit insane but this has helped me tremendously.

  • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    That I actually do have a bad temper and do get angry very easily, that my anger does not justify my verbal/physical reactions (nor was I ‘right’ just because I was angry) and that these reactions will hurt those I care about/those I don’t care about but still didn’t deserve my violence, which is a surefire way to end up in jail (perhaps) and in Hell (more likely).

    For everyone who has similar issues, try to remember two things:

    1. Ambiguous behaviour does not mean aggressive behaviour.
    2. The flesh is weak. If you, in your anger, start a fight and perhaps just push someone and they crack their head and die/lose function, you’ll never live it down, you will always be the guy who killed someone in anger (and not even righteous anger, you’re just temperamental). And it can happen very quickly too! A good man cannot live with that, only a hell-bound one can, so either you’ll be oppressed by your guilt or you’ll realize you’ve lost your humanity and you’re a full on psycho.
    • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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      5 hours ago

      If you’re gonna break the law, be smart about it. In the time it takes you to do it the right way, you probably will have these feelings pass. If not… get that shitter.

  • folaht@lemmy.ml
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    18 hours ago

    My ADD is far worse than I thought and I should have noticed that decades ago.

    • cornshark@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      What symptoms have you noticed? I’m trying to figure out my own behaviour and would be really interested in your experience

      • folaht@lemmy.ml
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        30 minutes ago

        I took LTO-3 food supplements against ADHD. ADD is thought to be the same mental disorder but with different symptoms, so it worked on me as well, except temporarily, only for teo weeks. Perhaps due to my type of autism of which the types of autism really haven’t been distinguished yet.

        So if you take LTO-3 and you notice vast differences in your own behavior, then you have ADD/ADHD.

        Here’s what I noticed:

        • Vastly less trouble following group conversations.
        • No looking down automatically when walking.
        • No more lazy body swaying due to low energy.
        • Much easier switching to a new task
        • Much easier starting a new task
        • Less ‘mind weight’ making it…
          • Easier to talk
          • Easier to pay attention at board games
        • Having energy left after 8 hours of work instead of crashing down.
      • Lovable Sidekick@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Any doctor, nurse practitioner, etc. should be able to give you a screening test - in my case it was a 20-question form that said at the bottom if you answered Yes to more than 2 questions you might have some form of ADHD. I answered Yes to all but two lol.

        • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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          5 hours ago

          Any doctor, nurse practitioner, etc. should be able to give you a screening test

          I’ll be sure to have my butler schedule some luxurious healthcare for me.