“I was talking with my Dad about how I was planning to vote for Trump after seeing all the good he was doing for this country. He was so excited he handed me a firearm, as is tradition in our family, but he failed to inform me it was loaded and it tragically went off. Since we don’t let liberals handle guns in this household, Dad never taught me proper gun handling. Now that I’m a future and forever Trump voter though, I’m sure this won’t happen again.”

Checkmate, Sheriff.

You press it against your face, put it face down on the table, shove it in your pocket, and then rub your fingers all over it…

Who am I kidding? Most people just rub their fingers all over it all day and also don’t wash their hands. Phones can be a wonderland for germs.

Except for when that open carrying leftist Vet got shot by the Uber driving other Vet when he decided that a low carry was a threatening posture and got off.

Firefox… I mean, regular old from the app store Firefox… Not even Waterfox or anything, just Firefox.

How did you end up at Brave without knowing Firefox could do all that?

They even have a part with translated subtitles… You could’ve at least chosen Snatch for your reference for Brad Pitt’s Pikey impersonation.

I had no early warnings. I woke up one morning with blurred vision after a bad cold, went to the doctor, had a 600 blood sugar, A1C of 12.1, and they had me admitted.

Upon further introspection, constipation.

Hilarious, no notes.

If I didn’t need to buy cough syrup, I wouldn’t have spent a cent today.

Took a walk, sat on a bench, played decade old games, decorated the tree, and ate leftovers.

Back when I was in the desert, if a shower wasn’t available for a period of time, I would rub some sand on my head.

Better than the grease.

In fairness, that would be like asking how much you need to make to live in DC or London. Seoul is the capital, it’s gonna cost a lot.

But, what are you gonna do? Live in Gwanju or Daegu?

No, the country is on fire sale. They’re loading up to head to greener pastures. Destroying US flight means that an alternative they’ve invested in can rise. Just wait until ATC globally is done in Chinese instead, then it’ll make sense.

Hey now, Nissan went electric with the Leaf (and had the worst battery solution) faster than competitors, it adopted the (worst) CVT for its lighter duty vehicles early, and rarely, if ever, redesigned some of the most (un)inspiring vehicles around!

Nissan did corner the subprime market like no one else though.

My family was on the Mayflower but if Ireland would like to take me back on account of the generational sin and all that I’d be happy to get on the plane.

He’s dead, she can move on whenever she wants…

He, on the other hand, is still married and needs to at least have the balls to divorce his wife before he moves on her.

She’s garbage but, in this situation, he’s entirely responsible for his actions.

Beards? My hair starts at the top of my head and ends at my toe knuckles. My beard hair goes up to my cheek bones, down to the underside of my jaw and entirely down my neck to connect to my chest hair. I have to regularly shave my neck, shape and trim my beard.

I mean, I like my facial hair just fine, I just wish I didn’t have random solid white patches where my body decided to quit due to stress on me.

I’d really rather shoot myself than deal with grooming my face in general but I’d rather limit the parts I have to shave if I must.

She said it herself, her kids’ insurance rates will go up. That’s money out of her pocket, therefore bad, therefore we should reconvene the house to prevent it.

So, they’re just shooting people in the face for fun. Got it.

At least Soldiers have the gumption to sham during my a shutdown!

Straight from Fort Knox, obviously.

The entire public affairs career field knows this. It’s how you can tell VP Bowman sucked at his job - the reporters will show up to a firefight with Special Forces. They don’t need to hear it from you.

I would call myself JD too if my parents named me Jerkin Dapenis as well.