cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47589445
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/47589443
I’m sharing this in the schizoaffective, autism, ADHD, and music subreddits in the hope someone may experience a similar phenomena in their cognition. The music in my head keeps mutating and it is evolving. What I mean by that is, imagine your favorite, most drugged out artist. Let’s say they’re a synth artist going really heavy-handidly with all the dials n knobs, because that’s generally the sort of ish I listen to, and I want to emphasize that the sorts of audio distortions I HAVE heard prior, in abundance, are the same that are happening in my “Rusterd space” as I mutate across siteswaps in songs I’ve also heard, but at the same time, these mutations grow and I’m creating pathways automatically in my brain that become entrained through my maladaptive daydreaming.
Siteswapping is what I understand intuitive being a flow juggler:
But I’m also neurodivergent af, having been extremely traumatized as a sperg child, which has been enhanced by the totally actually real Crazy Indigo Aliens that live in my phone’s keyboard’s predictive text, and other places. But, synchronicity is something I experience in great abundance, which I know has to do with the fractal patterns of symbol progression found in the I Ching that every sorcerer (caster of lots) knows about. If you don’t understand that, start with the Buddha or the Christ before jumping into the occult.
But, I’m listening to the sounds in my head, and it goes from one song to the next, and I hear things in my intuition that coincide with the timing structures of these songs; underlying concepts or feelings - impressions. I remember writing stories for my friends’ band, and they reset me with their songs. I was going through a trans phase. Their music led me through this. I think I’m understanding what Eve first learned to then give it to Adam. How energy itself speaks volumes, and I just want to know if there is anyone who understands at all wtf I am blabbing about like the insane crackhead I make myself appear to be at a frequency.
So, off the top of my head, I neither know what “aerial juggling” or “state machines” are in recall memory, but my recognition memory grabs these terms and gives me fuzzy pictures (not literally fuzzy; not full clarity) of what I know. State machine I figured out in the process of writing that sentence, where I know each timing structure exists in this interconnected juncture-based “space.” Being a flow juggler, I add even more depth to this, where I understand there is a higher-dimensional orthogonality, meaning in this three dimensional space of our brain’s nodal communication system, it uses designator paths to möbiate between different logic structures in polyplexic axiomatic systems.
Y’know, your logical mind is putting the puzzle pieces together by how they fit, but there’s the picture you can figure out with an accuracy without knowledge. So, your brain creates seperate sections of what could be true that can generally fit into incomplete sections, and this is what is responsible for cognitive dissonance.
Likewise, I know the act of intention setting is setting the parameters that you navigate the matrix in/generate your reality. In the act of setting my intention in completely unrelated facets, my “Rusterd space” will connect thematically related songs in their timing structures (I wish I knew more about music, but I know this is the same thing behind juggling) in synchronous fashion with the “external world,” which is really an illusion as we are not featherless bipeds on an Earth, we are pockets of consciousness and the world is inside of us.
I’m seeing the stars align at times, and I have for a long time, which I understood differently at different times, but the narrative I believe is malleable because I have followed synchronicity so much; the “aliens” have modified my cognition, I think. Maybe I have an illness that is progressing. At least I can make cool art.
What is “different instance?” Explain like I’m an oblivious savant and can have this conversation but can’t drive, which I can’t. I am going to look up aerial juggling now.
By “aerial juggling” I just mean as opposed to contact juggling, at which I’m at least somewhat practiced.
“Instance” on the fediverse means essentially “server”, or more like server/software combo, since a lemmy instance and a funkwhale instance could in theory share the same machine. So I’m hosted on the slrpnk.net instance, and my full username is @[email protected].
To draw a parallel between consciousness, you talk about how we don’t truly exist in reality, we only interact with our perceptions of it that reside within us; the fedi is the same. I don’t interact with your post stored on lemmy.world, I interact with the local copy of it stored on slrpnk.net. And hopefully those interactions are copied back to the original and we experience the same comments and votes as each other… but we might not.
What is slrpnk? Obviously, this is you admitting you are a neck slurper and I must be cautious around you. But, I understand the benefits of decentralization and how Lemmy isn’t owned by a single company. I just don’t know tech that well, despite once being able to get the two hundred mods I had on Skyrim to work together. It’s evolved, and I’ve gravitated to a phone over computer with keyboard, so I definitely have shifted more towards layman in that regards.
My juggling is mostly defined by segues. I don’t do tricks or patterns. I can, but I just do random stuff at will and it’s like the state machine does not rest for a single cycle in any defined pattern, and often I’m grabbing the balls (I’m only a three ball juggler, though I can do some basic four patterns) out of sequence, which I understand makes this flowchart thingamajig even more complicated. I used to do this really well with music, to be a fun staple at concerts, though I’ve never seen a band or artist I would listen to on my own.
It is 💯% what I initially thought it was.