Why do I give even a second thought to the reaction of other online users (who may not even be human) when I get blocked? They’re strangers. None of this matters. It will not affect my physical life in any way what so ever. My rational side is absolutely boggled at my emotional side. (additionally, I know I’m not the only one but I prefer to ask questions like this in first person.)
Being silenced hurts, rejection hurts. Whatever you were hoping for by writing in that space, whoever you were trying to communicate with, you can’t do it anymore, whatever part of yourself you invested in it, you lose. It does matter and it’s fine to let yourself grieve that loss.
Blocked and reported.
If you want a brutally honest answer it’s probably because your sense of entitlement was challenged.
How do you get to know you get blocked?
Do they send you a message like they’re police or a judge or something - that’s weird. When i block someone, i just click block - i assume they never know.
Blocking people is good though, I do it regularly when i feel I’ve wasted time reading some shit. Maybe you should block a few more just to get perspective on their side.
I assume I’ve been blocked by loads of people, but I don’t really know how or why I’d know ?
How do you know you get blocked?
Plenty of people will straight up tell you right before they block you. Which may also be why it’s infuriating. Which is kinda what the kind of person who tells you they are blocking you want.
Yeah, I think that says something about them - crazy people. Better off out of it.
If you have adhd, rejection sensitive dysphoria. It’ll make you care about the opinions of people you’d kill if you met
Adding to this, I recently learned that ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria is actually often some kind of dissociative disorder on the OSDD/PTSD/DID spectrum.
It makes a lot of sense the more you think about it.
ADHDers are by and large, especially if not caught early and given adequate support as children, so much more likely to end up with trauma. And, OSDD is one of the most common ways trauma is dealt with by the brain, along with PTSD, BPD and much less commonly, DID.
So if you’re reading this and have ADHD and RSD, you might want to consider finding a therapist who specialises in dissociation and trauma; with specific specialisms in OSDD, PTSD and/or DID. It could do you the world of good.
What do the acronyms mean? Help fill them out:
- PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
- OSDD:
- DID:
- BPD: Borderline personality disorder
- RSD:
Sure thing:
OSDD: Other Specified Dissociative Disorder
DID: Dissociative Identity Disorder (once called Multiple Personality Disorder)
RSD: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
From the way I understand it, dissociative disorders sit on a spectrum. Some people have an intact identity, but dissociation/derealisation as a coping mechanism. That would be one end of the spectrum.
OSDD sits somewhere in the middle and has a couple of subtypes.
DID is the other end of the spectrum and is quite rare. It usually involves very very severe trauma sustained over a long period at a very early age. This is where multiple different people live in the same mind and can take over and “front”.
Heres a lengthy further musing if you’re interested friend:
spoiler
I find it most useful to see OSDD as emotional fragmentation of identity as a reaction to severe trauma that manifests as multiple parts of yourself that most consider to be a normal internal experience. Often as separate internal monologues representing different aspects of yourself.
It’s my observation many ADHDers, especially ones diagnosed later in adulthood, talk about the many monologues in their minds, the radio playing, the intrusive thoughts they can’t control etc. It’s such a common trope. Some element of healthy internal talk is expected, but when it is intrusive and it comes with decreased ability, or memory loss, or anxiety and other weird symptoms (too numerous to list here), that’s when a dissociative disorder should be investigated.
Many of us ADHDers assume rationally that these symptoms are just a manifestation of executive dysfunction within ADHD. That logic makes sense on the face of it.
But if that were the case, it occurred to me to ask the question why so often these worrying symptoms get worse and more extreme with age? After all, ADHD is a genetic expression and a fixed thing, it’s not something that should worsen with age drastically; only St pace with natural age related cognitive decline.
So I dug into it from a trauma perspective, and ended up getting therapy and with my therapists help realised that for many including myself, ADHDers end up with a dissociative disorder.
The disorder sits on top of the ADHD and at first is a coping mechanism that to some degree works to manage the extreme emotions from the trauma we keep experiencing that we can’t process properly.
But as we age and gain more and more trauma, and the older trauma festers behind the repression, it ends up causing more and more cognitive decline, loss of capability sense of self, fragmentation, numbing of emotions and a heap of problem too numerous to name here.
I think it’s possible RSD itself doesn’t actually exist. I thought I had it, but it was all along trauma sitting on top of the ADHD.
This approach to therapy hasn’t fixed my ADHD but it is making living with it a hell of a lot easier.
Rejection makes people act crazy.
I don’t know how to answer questions anout your own personal feelings, but a psychologist would probably uncover the answer by asking you some questions first. E.g, do you yourself not block people? What does it take to make you block someone?
My impression of you from this post is someone who doesn’t understand the block button to be a first line of defense. You can hit it any time. Therefore with infinite accessibilty, it becomes a fly swatter. Something to simply make your browsing experience all the more frictionless.
Social media will never be as tightly knit as face to face interactions, or even early internet forums, once were.
If you have time and the means to watch it, look up Frasier Season 3 Episode 23: “When There’s Smoke There’s Fire”
Why ? Because they just taken from you the power of annoying them. And some person do not like losing power over someone
Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s probably arrogance. You have things to say, and you feel that your desire to say them is more important than other people’s desire to not listen.
Nothing wrong with that, it’s human nature, but you can become a better person by learning that it’s a privilege to communicate with people, and that your opinions aren’t any more valuable than anybody else’s.
Humble yourself. Listen more than you speak.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s probably arrogance.
How could someone ‘not take that the wrong way?’ Mate, that’s a hell of a rude leap right there, and I’d never just assume that shizzle.
Fact is that internet structures (as with all other aspects of civ life) are filled with people inordinately ‘drunk upon their little bit of power,’ who tend to enjoy the trip of using it for their own ends, not strictly because of whatever the place is nominally supposed to be about, and how it’s supposed to be moderated.
That all said, it’s entirely possible that OP has indeed engaged in toxic behavior in such places, just that so far they we don’t know about such?
Anyway, like others here have suggested, here’s a recco to just treat all this stuff as mainly a big bag of us casuals interacting. Very few people are putting much on the line or risking their reputations, so it’s probably good to think of all this as consisting of a healthy proportion of fun, casual bullshit talked amongst a big group of strangers, each from their own situations, with their own motivations & priorities.
Altho, yes-- for sure, to me, one of the AWESOME things about our collective group chats are the number of functional experts and fascinating people, contributing to our talk. And me, I’m not fully off of Reddit, but the ‘Reddit experience’ (which now includes The Fediverse) in general has seriously leveled me up in all kinds of ways. (bah, as long as I don’t doom-scroll, godamit…)
Ok
We all have our basic reactions, s’all good.
People can block to “get the last word in” to make it seem like the blockee had no counter-argument and the blocker decisively won.
To me, that’s the annoying bit.
It also sometimes makes Lemmy seem “broken”, if there are missing replies or discussions you can’t see or things you can’t reply to
That’s not how it works here. If you block someone, they can still reply, you just won’t see it.
Laugh
A good baseline philosophy is that nothing really matters on the internet, especially on forums and social networks like Lemmy, etc
As long as you genuinely weren’t an asshole, it’s just funny that someone would block frivolously in such a small community of people
If you were an asshole, the block is a moment to self reflect
Because you have anger and entitlement issues
Because we’re social creatures by nature, and this warped “social” media doesn’t adhere to the rules, taboos, and norms of face to face interaction. It’s inherently frustrating.
Careful else you’ll end up on my list too.
I use cold showers.
