Well, as a white guy with autism that is just mild enough that it isn’t apparent when people first interact with me my entire existence is basically trying to figure out where all the invisible traps are. To an outside observer it would very much appear like I’m keeping my head down and being complicit, and yet I often find myself identifying most with people in marginalized groups because of their experiences, how they feel, and how they are treated. I have no qualms standing up for someone when I can, but it’s rare that anyone ever stands up for me because I’m just another white guy despite the fact that I’m usually confused and barely keeping my head above water on the inside.
I am also neurodivergent, and it is very painful how our behavior can be misinterpreted. I’m not advocating for white guys to be discriminated against. I’m saying that given the current administration’s ambitions to create a nation to serve white men, any white men who don’t fight back will be assumed to be on board. It’s not always fair, but I don’t think it’s realistic to expect people to be more nuanced given human history.
It would just be nice if it ever felt like I wasn’t standing naked out in the middle of no mans land. I generally don’t have any community that provides protection even when I need it and this particular conversation thread is a good example of why. I can’t go into the spaces or communities where I most identify with others experiences without being treated for what I appear to be, and even if I wanted to capitalize on being being a white dude (I really don’t), it doesn’t take very long before I piss off the wrong person or make problems by pointing out how something isn’t OK.
If/when things really do go sideways I fully expect that I will be one of the first individuals to be put on the proverbial trains because I’m target. No one is going to show up in support of me.
Well, as a white guy with autism that is just mild enough that it isn’t apparent when people first interact with me my entire existence is basically trying to figure out where all the invisible traps are. To an outside observer it would very much appear like I’m keeping my head down and being complicit, and yet I often find myself identifying most with people in marginalized groups because of their experiences, how they feel, and how they are treated. I have no qualms standing up for someone when I can, but it’s rare that anyone ever stands up for me because I’m just another white guy despite the fact that I’m usually confused and barely keeping my head above water on the inside.
I am also neurodivergent, and it is very painful how our behavior can be misinterpreted. I’m not advocating for white guys to be discriminated against. I’m saying that given the current administration’s ambitions to create a nation to serve white men, any white men who don’t fight back will be assumed to be on board. It’s not always fair, but I don’t think it’s realistic to expect people to be more nuanced given human history.
It would just be nice if it ever felt like I wasn’t standing naked out in the middle of no mans land. I generally don’t have any community that provides protection even when I need it and this particular conversation thread is a good example of why. I can’t go into the spaces or communities where I most identify with others experiences without being treated for what I appear to be, and even if I wanted to capitalize on being being a white dude (I really don’t), it doesn’t take very long before I piss off the wrong person or make problems by pointing out how something isn’t OK.
If/when things really do go sideways I fully expect that I will be one of the first individuals to be put on the proverbial trains because I’m target. No one is going to show up in support of me.
That’s all I’m saying.