Because we are burrying a trans identity to appease the masses.
There’s nothing wrong with being trans, and, like it or not, we are trans.
Why should I be visible, when you refuse to have my back?
My partner and I talk a lot about visibility. What I think a lot of people miss is that a lot of trans people want stealth. Coming out to everyone that they were born with a body they felt disgusted by and transitioned to who they are today isn’t exactly palatable. This, of course, doesn’t apply to everyone who’s transgender, but it’s not that uncommon either.
So why should these people announce to the world that they’re trans? It goes against the whole purpose of transitioning. He wishes he was born with a man’s body. He hated the body he was born with. He wants people to know he’s a man. Why should he tell people when they are likely not going to be supportive at all?
Something we’ve noticed is that people often have no issue treating him like a dude and think nothing of it up until they somehow learn that he’s trans. After that? “They”. “She- sorry, he”. And so on. Want to know what will happen if he tells everyone at once?
Yeah someone I came out to mentioned an influencer they watched. They had no issue gendering her correctly for years until they learned the influencer is a transwoman, and so there was I was being shown this guy sorry lady and he’s- sorry she’s really good with makeup and you can’t even tell she’s a “man”! Really fucking hurts
I’m headed to the weekly burner event this evening. The sheer proportion of trans folks defies statistical probability. There’s one regular couple where both transitioned and … I guess they look like a heteronormative couple from across the produce section?
I will be the first to admit that despite being fully supportive of others’ life decisions, I still regularly slip and use the wrong pronouns. It’s very difficult to unlearn decades of gender expectations, despite having learned in 1999 on W Marginal Way SW that the only thing you should assume is everyone is bi.
Trans wasn’t quite yet a thing in the rave scene, and while I get that transitioning has gotten younger and younger with dysphoria being more recognized, at that time, no one was doing so at 14. Thanks to the draconian Teen Dance Ordinance and then the All-Ages Dance Ordinance that Seattle passed, there were literally two venues in town that could host events for anyone under 21.
Meaning that these venues were basically blocking curious teens from learning from more experienced community members, which was already being called “grooming” instead of mentoring. It was a terrible time to experience the realization that something was wrong without any resources.
This is about trans visibility and you make it all about yourself and your anecdotes :(
On a discussion board? Oh, the humanity!
This is actually an ongoing issue in many spaces. “If you don’t fully validate me by only talking about what I said, you are the enemy.”
That’s a rather juvenile approach. Discussion is how change happens, and shutting it off makes shooting yourself in the foot seem a wise option by comparison.
I’m deeply enmeshed in the queer community, and you’re saying I’m not supportive enough? You are working against your own self-interest. Don’t attack your colleagues; attack the system.
