I recently discovered that blowing into a plastic tube (like aquarium tubing) with the other end placed under the armpit, or better yet, the kneepit, makes a realistic fart sound. Try rubbing some water on your skin first for a better effect.

I just realized why people like their motorcycles loud.

It only masks the sound, just like a perfume can mask the smell.

Here’s a fun idea. Find some fart sounds online… I’m sure there has to be a 24 h playlist already, because Internet. Anyway, blast those sounds in your vicinity at full volume and nobody will be able to tell if you actually farted or not.

My mower is electric.

I learned that strategy while playing sniper elite

You could also just shoot your guns to cover-up your farts…

As the founders intended, 'Murica Style🇺🇸🦅

Legends has it that they declared independence so they have an excuse to have a holiday that would hide their farts.