So im sorta a child of a hoarder but ive also done some stuff aswell, its nothing like whats on tv, but its still a problem as we want to move. My mother keeps saying she wants me and her to get the junk out first but shes having trouble terterming whats trash compared to me, nor can we really afford some team to clean everything up.
What would be the best course of action here, because 2 people is not working.
I use big plastic containers and a trash can.
If it’s trash, goes in trash.
Everything else goes in one of two bins; “definitely keep”, and “might be useful, someday”.
Once you get the trash gone, you can pour over the “maybe” box, and decide what to keep vs never getting used
“Might be useful one day” is a real problem for hoarders.
If you find a use for one of those things you’re keeping, you won’t have another because you would have already used it, so you keep two. But if you keep two and use one, then you’ll find yourself in the situation where you only have one, so better have three just to be safe. Now multiply that for several different kinds of things and you have a house full of stuff.
And this doesn’t even begin to touch on the stuff that might have a sentimental attachment.
i have hoarder parents, and they see surrounding by crap is comforting, they dont like to have an empty room. even if its been mice infested with thier poo and all.
Do you have a third party you would trust to help mediate? Sometimes it helps to have an outsider’s perspective.
I’m not OP, but yes I hoard. For most of the non-sentimental stuff, any third party coming in would result in me saying “OK” and throwing it all out because wanting to get that third party out of my safe space as soon as possible and not have to think about it would trump the need to keep those things.
And I’d deal with the regret later. Both that I didn’t have the stuff any more and the cynical belief that the need for it is bound to be hastened precisely because I got rid of it.
For the sentimental stuff, that third party is going to quickly become an enemy, whether either of us likes it or not.
Stuff that’s in the middle ground, for example, old computer parts, maybe that third party might be able to help reason about it, but it’s going come down to one of the two above results pretty quick.
FWIW, I had a partial clear out about a decade ago and I still have regrets.
15 years of mild hoarding… Great strategy, but that’s going to be a lot of boxes. Ultimately, that’s kind of what moving house is, though. Boxes.