Back when I was 8, I wanted to be just like my dad (before finding out his actual personality). I wanted to have the bodily characteristics of an AMAB person if that makes sense, IDK how to word it. I wanted to be mistaken for a boy, do the stereotypical boy things, reject makeup and dresses, and I went through a “girls stink” phase like some young boys did. I wanted my hair cut short because it made me look like a boy and even wanted to wear my dad’s clothes simply because they were “men’s clothes”.
“Girl" didn’t feel right to me but growing up in a certain kind of family, all I knew was the word “tomboy”, so I used that. But my family tried to convince me I was the most feminine girly girl, and that just wasn’t me. It felt wrong.
you sound like my wife and she is still like that. Its hard to explain because she will do whats expected. So like around the house whe will not wear dresses or anything but at work or parties or such she will. We are both kinda by the book like that but im more likely to do what I want if there is no specific rule where she will more likely take into account norms.
As a cis guy, it feels pretty unnatural to say “when I was a boy” because the word has always meant gender more than age to me. Since the variable I’m indicating is my age, I use “kid” or “child” for it.
As to the broader question, my gut tells me to go with your gut. Whether the word “boy” or “girl” is what came to your mind, there is probably some relevant nuance to what it is you’re saying about your younger self that informed that instinct.
“when I was 8”
Agreed here. Why bring in gender at all?
As a cis man, I would not say “When I was a little boy…” It sounds childish, the sort of thing that might be said because you’re trying to assert you’re a big boy now.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cmTYiIIDyQ
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da4AmUDuBq4
I say “As a child…” or “When I was a kid…”
Thanks!
If that’s how you want to describe your past self then you have every right to.
When it comes to choosing the labels we use for ourselves, if it’s right for you, it’s the right label.
A label doesn’t define you or who you are, a label is an imperfect attempt to communicate who you are to yourself and to the people around you.
If the label is helping you do one or both of those things, it’s the right label.
Yes, thank you :3
If you grew up to be a man, it might make sense to describe your younger self as a boy. My understanding of gender is that often the one you end up with as an adult is the one you really have had the whole time, or at least since you started having one at all.
But my other understanding of gender is that being in gender trouble is a fake idea, so you can and should describe your younger self as whatever feels right to you, no matter what you think of yourself as now.
You can describe yourself any way you like. It’s helpful to provide context, like you did here. Without it you may not be understood. So know who you’re speaking to and provide it, especially when puzzled faces stare back at you.
Definitely an unusual situation, so there’s no easy answer.
Reminds me of the scene from Predestination where the guy opens his story with “when I was a little girl.” It has transgender elements to the story but it isn’t a trans story. And that’s all I’ll say. Wild ride.
idk it’s your life
