I can only speak for my own experience, but here’s what I’ve been doing.

I have had an interest in the violin since I was in middle school. Back then my parents couldn’t afford to get me one, much less lessons. I tried twice as a adult to pick it up on my own (renting an instrument and watching videos on YouTube) but both times I couldn’t stick with it and ended up returning the instrument. I eventually bought one secondhand and told myself I’d learn at some point. But after the times with the rental I couldn’t bring myself to try. I knew how bad I’d been at it before. Then, about 2.5 years ago, I got a raise at work and decided I’d try again, paying for lessons this time. My instructor and I worked out a system for me. I never ever touch the violin when I don’t want to. I’m still not good at playing it! But I still LOVE playing it when I do. Over the last two years I learned that it was never the fact that I sucked that tore me away from the violin. It was that I had framed it as a task I HAD to do to get better. And I would grow to hate picking it up and so eventually just give up. Now though, I practice just about every day that I’m home for, but if I look at it and feel dread, I just don’t. I circle back a few hours later and try again. Usually it’s passed, sometime not. I don’t question it any more.

Honestly I’m at the point now where I could probably stop frequent lessons and still grow and learn from YouTube and the occasional one off lesson, but I like the motivation my teacher gives me. I still have an insane amount of way to go to be what I’d call good at playing, but it’s still fun!

Over the last couple years I’ve been trying this with all my interests. I sew now! I’m getting marginally better with every dumb project. When I look at it and I feel dread (real dread, not indifference) then I pass it over for the hour, or day. If I’m indifferent, I push myself to do 3 minutes of something. 3 minutes is a good start. No timer though. Just not the time on my phone and start. I’ve never even looked at my phone within those 3 minutes. And usually after getting started I am invested in continuing.

The hard part about all this is that is requires you to be disciplined and honest with yourself. Some days you’ll fail at that (I certainly do!) but it does get easier over the long term (although you’ll fall off after months of solid progress and have to get back to it after, and that will suck). Most people don’t take the time to really think about their own emotional state and this requires (not recommends, REQUIRES) you to do that.

Good luck. You’re going to have good days and bad days, but as long as you keep working, your skills (for your hobby and for your understanding of yourself) will grow and grow! I hate to prove all those therapists out there right, but it actually is kinda rewarding.

There is no secret sauce here. Either you choose to persevere against the un-enjoyable-ness, or you don’t. If this bothers you this much, try to find strategies for coping such as: lowering your expectations (perfection brings tedium and tedium is the enjoyment killer), shrinking your scope (less work, less chance of drowning in the enormity of the project), recommit to goals with rigor (sometimes you just gotta suck it up even if it isn’t enjoyable and you want that reward/payoff).