It really is none of your business what consenting adults get up to. There are people vulnerable to exploitation at all ages, it isn’t your job to police them.
Eh, yes but no. Just because there’s no legal action doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be societal pressure to not be a creep and a weirdo. It should be unpopular to have a romantic relationship with anyone with whom you have a power imbalance (and age is definitely a power imbalance): dealing with the raised eyebrows and looks of concern can help keep misguided but well-meaning people from becoming creeps, and it can help the victims of predatory relationships realize when they aren’t in a good situation.
The previous commenter was right: there’s no magic switch that flips in your brain on your 18th birthday that makes you suddenly able to make adult decisions. Some people are ready, some aren’t. Biologically it’s uncommon for anyone to be truly grown before they’re in their late 20s, but our society decided we were going to set the bar super low; so for people who have trouble clearing even that bar, the societal pressure is a good thing.
I say this as a man who’s four years older than my wife, whom I met when I was 21 and she was 17. I knew I wasn’t going to date her until she turned 18, but even still, having the push-back of people who are smart and thoughtful, and who said, “hey, you need to recognize what is going on here, and how you’re going to mature before she does, and the potential for it to turn predatory even if you don’t mean for it to”—in hindsight I really value that warning, and it helped us to keep it really simple and light for the first several years while she figured out who she is and decided whether she even wanted to be with me.
Obviously we still ended up together, and now at 40 and 36 nobody bats an eye at our age difference. But when I think about the hurdles we faced even with only a 4-year difference, and imagine an age gap more than five times that size? I don’t think I could ever be in that situation, but even if I could, I’d want those smart and thoughtful people to check me.
The societal pressure doesn’t necessarily do the same things as the legal pressure, but it still helps.
No. It is so simple that I do not need to read beyond your first sentence. You do not get the right to call two consenting adults ‘weirdos’ for behaviour that you do not like. This is exactly the same mental state that homophobic and transphobic people adopt, and they are as convinced they are right as you are convinced you are.
Beyond this: fascists have exploited this kind of wild overstep to such a degree that is has been a contributing factor in the creation of a world I do not want. If you can disregard the law based on your personal preferences, so can they. Kindly stop it.
It really is none of your business what consenting adults get up to. There are people vulnerable to exploitation at all ages, it isn’t your job to police them.
Eh, yes but no. Just because there’s no legal action doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be societal pressure to not be a creep and a weirdo. It should be unpopular to have a romantic relationship with anyone with whom you have a power imbalance (and age is definitely a power imbalance): dealing with the raised eyebrows and looks of concern can help keep misguided but well-meaning people from becoming creeps, and it can help the victims of predatory relationships realize when they aren’t in a good situation.
The previous commenter was right: there’s no magic switch that flips in your brain on your 18th birthday that makes you suddenly able to make adult decisions. Some people are ready, some aren’t. Biologically it’s uncommon for anyone to be truly grown before they’re in their late 20s, but our society decided we were going to set the bar super low; so for people who have trouble clearing even that bar, the societal pressure is a good thing.
I say this as a man who’s four years older than my wife, whom I met when I was 21 and she was 17. I knew I wasn’t going to date her until she turned 18, but even still, having the push-back of people who are smart and thoughtful, and who said, “hey, you need to recognize what is going on here, and how you’re going to mature before she does, and the potential for it to turn predatory even if you don’t mean for it to”—in hindsight I really value that warning, and it helped us to keep it really simple and light for the first several years while she figured out who she is and decided whether she even wanted to be with me.
Obviously we still ended up together, and now at 40 and 36 nobody bats an eye at our age difference. But when I think about the hurdles we faced even with only a 4-year difference, and imagine an age gap more than five times that size? I don’t think I could ever be in that situation, but even if I could, I’d want those smart and thoughtful people to check me.
The societal pressure doesn’t necessarily do the same things as the legal pressure, but it still helps.
No. It is so simple that I do not need to read beyond your first sentence. You do not get the right to call two consenting adults ‘weirdos’ for behaviour that you do not like. This is exactly the same mental state that homophobic and transphobic people adopt, and they are as convinced they are right as you are convinced you are.
Beyond this: fascists have exploited this kind of wild overstep to such a degree that is has been a contributing factor in the creation of a world I do not want. If you can disregard the law based on your personal preferences, so can they. Kindly stop it.
Ok. Then I won’t read beyond yours either.