I’m an old cis/het dude, and while I’ve occasionally fantasized about being a woman, it was entirely out of fascination with something else - not identity. I don’t necessarily ‘feel’ male, but being female is incomprehensible to me.

Compare that with a dear family friend. When they were about 13, they announced that they were nonbinary; and two years later, decided they were transmasculine.

What was their trigger?

While presenting as nonbinary, they naturally got mistaken for either male or female. They realized that being mistaken for male was totally cool, but being mistaken for female hurt terribly. They identified with being male, and being female (their AGAB) felt abhorrent and wrong.

So if you don’t have some part of your brain screaming “NO NO NO!!!” at you, you’re likely an average, 21st century cis person whose ability to access infinite porn has dulled your sexuality a bit.

So don’t worry too much.

My wife got her masters degree last year, at age 58.

The only connection I could find was her name - Erika - which was the name of a Nazi marching song.

This sounds like a typical AI slop non-answer.

Why does this video draw Nazis to it?

Or they’re part of a cult/gang like 764. Either way, police should be involved.

As many have said, this isn’t a real thing. It sounds like she was trying to groom you. The comment about the other girl wanting to play with you boobs is reminiscent of the 764 group, who are dangerous, violent psychopaths.

Most importantly right now, GOOD FOR YOU for blocking her!

Secondly, you should report this to the cops. Please, PLEASE report this person!

Thirdly, if you did send her more than just a picture of your palm (i.e. and aren’t telling us the whole story), don’t be ashamed. Groomers are very good and very practiced, and can get past all logical defenses.

Money.

It is more popular.

That probably doesn’t make sense, but when I joined a few years ago, I could read every post across the entire lemmy-verse and be annoyed waiting for new content about anything. At the time, the survival of lemmy at all was in serious doubt.

Now I have my handful of groups that are generally active enough that I get a consistent amount of new stuff coming in. It’s fairly low volume compared to other platforms, but it’s growing fairly steadily and becoming more useful all the time.

The creation of communities happens with time. We’re getting there.

Speaking as a guy approaching 60, I say get in touch.

It iis so easy to lose friends, and increasingly harder to make new ones as we age. Hold onto those who knew you best. Maybe some won’t survive and maybe you’ll become closer friends with those you didn’t know that well, but make the effort, and do it now.

It varies like crazy for me.

I’m an insomniac, and some nights after being up for a while, I’ll fall asleep again within an hour of the alarm. Those days, I struggle to focus enough to sit up, and force myself to move in a minute or two.

Other times my eyes will flick open and I’ll be in full awake mode almost instantly. Some of that was trained behavious from when I was on-call.

Ignoring the gatekeepers and the people watching for trolls, there’s one other aspect: a lot of people are posting their account anniversaries not to brag, but to celebrate - celebrate leaving the toxic world behind.

It doesn’t fit all of your criteria, but Platinum Blonde’s “It Doesn’t Really Matter” comes to mind.

Bye, troll.

1. Bleach + water (~1tbsp/L)
2. Vinegar + water (1:1)
3. Toilet bowl cleaner
4. Tub & Tile cleaner
5. Lots of rags

90% of my bathroom cleaning is done with the bleach and vinegar solutions (but DO NOT MIX them!!! Use separate rags, etc.) Toilet bowl cleaner is good for the angled bottle and the bluing is absolutely worthwhile.

Tub & Tile cleaner is good for hard deposits, but doesn’t really get brought out very often.

If there was anything else I’d add, it would be a general purpose light cleaner - despite the name, Windex is ideal for almost everything else.

Also, add something like Mr. Clean into this list and you have everything you need to clean your entire house forever.

EDIT: Something people may not realize about bleach. You really do NOT need a heavy concentration, but you have to leave it in contact for a while. Spray on the diluted solution, leave it while you clean something else, and then wipe it off. But crucially, if you increase the concentration, you don’t significantly reduce the amount of time it needs to work.

Did you create an account just to be sanctimonious and superior?

I’m 56, and I don’t have any answers.

Any upward momentum at work stopped for me. I’m slowly descending into alcoholism and sloth. The more I do to maintain the household, the less that everyone else does.

There’s a reason that financially comfortable, socially stable, middle-aged men have a ridiculously high suicide rate.

The worst part - the VERY worst part - is that even after I retire, I don’t see any improvement. I’m going to be slaving away at an attempt to maintain a modest life until the day I die.

When they mention it, say “tell me more.” Or ask them to write it down.

That sounds like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Also, meditation trains some of this.

Lots of good answers here, but what do you mean by ‘other planes of existence’?

Resentfulness is a reaction, not a position to take.

You can either say “she’s not welcome” or “we agree to disagree and will not discuss it” and then stick to it. Your choice. But letting (welcoming?) her into your home and then resenting her presence is childish.

Take a stand, one way or another. If you let her come, then deal with it like an adult.