Awww, got em wrong. They’re so adorable

What an absolute sweetie

I want to guess–is Franky the orange one?

Yeah, I know my view of reality isn’t accurate. Doesn’t make things easier to handle but it’s why I’m still handling them. At the worst of times I’m just living for the sake of other people which while it keeps me here can also be really frustrating – it’s like other people are holding themselves hostage against my nonexistence. I do talk about it with some friends that are already that close. I honestly kind of credit one of them with saving my life in June, though she doesn’t know it. It just feels like life keeps pulling blocks from the jenga tower that I am and there’s not many left before I collapse.

Sorry for laying this on you.

Before anyone comes along telling me I should get professional help, I have. I’m in therapy and on antidepressants. Antidepressants help but they’re like health regen, if I get chunked I still have to deal with being low on health for a while. And therapy… It helped and is helping but the last five months have been so so terrible it’s undone all the progress I made and I’m struggling to not give up. I see the thinking patterns that are wrong and where how I feel differs from the reality of my situation but it takes so much effort to break out of those patterns and I’m struggling to care enough to try. All the help in the world can’t change your thoughts and perceptions for you.

I do try to keep myself safe. I deliberately have avoided setting anything up that I could use to send notes on a delay and have avoided setting up/working on/looking into/sourcing parts for the method I would use, so when it gets that bad it forces me to take a lot of time and effort and buys me time for things to improve a bit. I’m just worried that someday it’ll be so bad I won’t care about a painless method or leaving without saying goodbye to the people who care about me. I think it’s probably inevitable, but that’s a self fulfilling prophecy and one of those feelings that I know isn’t accurate, though that doesn’t make it any easier to handle.

I just keep editing this comment trying to make it more positive and it keeps backfiring, sorry.

On the bright side, things can’t get too much worse. I quit my job so it’s no longer triggering depressive crashes and there’s not too many more unexpected expenses left that could happen. I already have had to replace my phone and car since I quit and both the cost of insurance and the cost of therapy are doubling. My grandmother’s died too since I’ve quit. So, there’s not really anything left to make things much worse! Well, getting horribly sick or injured before new insurance kicks in but not going anywhere or doing anything makes injury and illness extremely unlikely. So, things should be pretty stable for the immediate future. I might even see friends in person again for the first time in months!

Just because I want to die doesn’t mean I should drag friends and family down with me

Stressing them the hell out about my well-being just makes life worse for them and piles guilt on me

If/when I do kill myself I want none of them to know it was acutely that bad because then no one can blame themselves for not doing anything to stop it

Letting anyone that close to me would purely be doing them a massive disservice

He looks like he’s drowning in his own fluff hahahaha

<3

No, I really don’t need another bunch of money spent for a half finished project that I’m never going to finish or hobby that I’ll never return to. It sounds bad but it truly is better for me to give up and not try, at least it doesn’t continue piling failures on top of me.

The top commenter is correct. It’s why when you glance at a clock with a second hand, it can seem like it takes too long for it to move for the next second. It moved as you moved your eyes, and your brain didn’t make up the movement.

Tell that to Assange, Snowden, and pals

Sharing classified material != Criticism of the government

The U.S. has a lot of fuckin things wrong with it but goddamn it’s nice you can’t be jailed for talking about how terrible it is

What a curly sweetie!

Yeah, I’m not a huge pain person either. I don’t enjoy the pain, I enjoy the submission, if that makes sense. The dom I occasionally see will alternate between spanking me and gently stroking my body, building the anticipation and juxtaposing the pain, and will fake on spanks–it’s truly something I never thought I’d love so much.

Scat, eh, not my thing but I don’t find it repulsive. Not being grossed out by shit makes enemas more convenient. Watersports, sure, I’ve had a dom use me as a urinal, pretty hot. Rape? Sure, on the receiving end. Mostly in the vein of CNC with bdsm.

10 tbh. No pedophile shit but some things that would probably make some friends break ties with me. My close friends would understand but the ones who I’ve drifted away from over time who are more towards the conservative side of things (NOT conservatives though) would probably just peace out. More public facing, probably a 7 or 8? Let’s go with 8. Into BDSM and a big sub, watersports, impact play, bondage, etc. Petplay, kind of, I’d love to be someone’s pet but animal roleplay isn’t something I’m comfortable with. I’m a huge anal enjoyer and a size queen but I’ve only toyed, never been fucked. Some friends are comfortable with it and I can talk about it casually with them, others aren’t so I don’t bring it up around them. So yeah, in terms of the bell curve, I’m waaaaaay off to the right in sexual weirdness. Took me a long time to get comfortable with it to the extent I can talk about it like this, and now I’m a chronic oversharer. If you want to know about the 10, you can dm me, it’s just not something I want available to anyone scrolling through my post history.

Miez is such a cutie!

Notably, java jar files as well.

tar -xzvf filename

With a bad pretend accent:

Xtract

Zee

Vucking

File

Weight is purely the effect of gravity on mass. Do you consider yourself to weigh negative weight when you’re floating in a pool and the scale is on the bottom of it?

Less the difference between weight and mass and more the affect of buoyancy on your method of measurement. If you float in water, it doesn’t mean you’re weightless in water. It just means the buoyant force of the water overpowers gravity.