All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.

Easy - declare that kids of illegal immigrants aren’t subject to the jurisdiction of the US, then the 14th amendment doesn’t apply!

Of course you’d probably still need legislation to do that, if not an amendment.

I think he wants us to shit ourselves in public about this stuff so he can mock us, but the grandiose gestures he’s throwing around right now are mostly just laughably stupid. I’m still preparing for the shitstorm but I don’t think the big noises he’s making now are telegraphing the real plays.

When future generations (of alien colonists on our dead world) update the story of Cassandra, the main character will be changed to Bernie

The beer belly putsch

I think that’s the answer. He’d eat the hamburger half.

The trick with that test is that they’re not looking to see whether you can do it. They know you can’t. They’re looking to see whether you think you can. If you show signs of believing it’s possible, that’s probable cause for a search. If you believe you actually pulled it off, you’re drunk.

“If the shoreline fits”

What’s Elon?

Just not that one

Reddit, is that you?

Homer tells Barney he’ll strangle Bart if CPS responds to Ned’s call

My god it’s full of bees!

In my experience, this often doesn’t happen. So many developers are either inexperienced or cowboys, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with either. But at places where projects are small and numerous, teams often end up with nothing but a combination of the two.

As one of our office’s engineering “fixers”, I’ve taken over maintenance of several such projects. They usually have shattered remnants of code taken from other projects, open source libraries, internal libraries, stack overflow, and so on. Whole source files copied into the project, modified in ways that introduce impressive new failure cases while failing to add new functionality, and used in ways that completely ignore the features natively implemented in that code while those same features are bodged in as barely-working piles of if statements, balanced on a knife’s edge to avoid triggering the failure modes added by the project’s modifications of the copied code. I’m usually able to purge 20-30k lines of code from such projects in the first month, simultaneously closing multiple outstanding issues the PM had been led to believe were intractable.

That probably sounds like arrogance and/or shitting on everybody else’s work but it’s just reality at many workplaces due to a pace driven by unreasonable expectations from management. I just happen to be the person here that ends up sifting through the wreckage when a project reaches the inevitable osteoporosis phase, because of a natural disposition for reverse engineering. It would be great to escape for this and other reasons, as far as I can tell, most places aren’t that different.

I spent way too long wondering what it could possibly mean to deduct your mortgage from your rent.

A white with basalt? How gauche.

Pick it up after he throws it and throw it back!

Xyzzy

Hurricanes gonna be lining up around the block in excitement

This is correct. Additionally, if x is NaN, then x ≠ x.

Epic rap battles of capitalism

I’m so glad all those emails don’t go to waste