Cost to dispose of it is greater than zero.

I was looking for a comment mentioning this. If it’s a rural area, the local waste management facility might take a trek to get to. If you have to make multiple trips, or rent/hire a vehicle to get rid of something (like having to tow an old car), the time and cost can add up.

So if it’s not accepted with a typical trash pick-up, it’s still gotta be somewhere, even if you don’t want it anymore. Keeping it on your own property is at least more ethical than dumping it in the woods somewhere (though you’ll find plenty of that in some areas, too.)

I’m starting to think of writing down the specific things job recruiters tell me, and bringing it to the interview. The last recruiter that reached out (and succeeded in hiring me) told me things that didn’t end up being true. When I got hired and was told contradictory information, the company said, “Oh, that is still true, but this particular case is an exception. We can get you a different case where that is true,” and then they didn’t get back to me for weeks. In that time, I’d applied, interviewed, and accepted a job elsewhere. Fuck lying employers.

Ugh, the “swipe” is the worst feature for every company to jump on. I get paralyzed between, “What if they just took a bad picture? I don’t know enough about them and dismissing them for a bad photo could mean missing out,” and “What if I’m swiping right on a creep and don’t realize it? Now they’ll know my picture, my name, where I live, and they’ll think I’m definitely interested.”

I haven’t used it in a couple years, but I did meet my current boyfriend on OK Cupid. I’m poly, and I met my girlfriend last year on a queer dating/social app called Lex. The cool thing with Lex is that it’s text-based, originally modeled off of old newspaper classified ads. You get to know people through them voicing their thoughts and asking original questions. No pressure to “swipe or get off the pot,” you can get to know someone through comments on posts before sending a message. It’s a smaller community (as expected for queer folk) so I don’t know how popular it is outside of highly populated areas. It’s not for everyone, but if you’re in the LGBTQ+ community and sick of being forced to make snap-judgements about strangers who might end up being a massive part of your life, it’s a relief.

I know you don’t want to hear “it depends,” but there is no one rule that would cover all art. Some art is made to communicate specific ideas. Some art is made simply out of self-expression, without intent for any particular audience. Both are valid.

If I doodle in my notebook, it’s for the artist (me.) However, I also draw and paint to communicate specific emotions. I made a painting while listening to “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire, with the intent to capture the energy and joy the song sends through me. I don’t expect anyone to immediately connect the image with the specific song, but since it’s a lively concert scene, my hope is that the emotion that inspired the art comes across to an audience.

Sometimes I’ll make something more abstract, intentionally left open to interpretation. I may have my own thoughts about such pieces, but ultimately I want the viewer to find their own meaning.

In reality, everything is up to the audience. There will always be people who interpret things in their own way, independent of the artist’s intentions. We can’t control what others will think, but learning to tolerate and/or accept people who “don’t get it” is a stage all artists have to go through. I’ve come to accept that there is no one perfect mode of communication, so if I intend to communicate something specific, it’s on me as the artist to put effort into making that message clear.

Rent costs half a month’s pay, so that checks out.

I just want to say, although I hate how things are going, I like the way you describe them.

Archived link

Ah, I see you’ve met my mom. She’s overly concerned with the opinions of others, to my and my siblings’ detriment. Meanwhile, I have a “I don’t know them, why should I care what they think?” attitude, which made my youth with her so very fun /s.

Her brain is clearly still locked into an old society’s ways. The things she thinks would be humiliating are things that nobody would bat an eye at today, like wearing pajamas outside. She’s got her “hidden” racism too, of course. She’s made comments about my partners “having dark complexions.” I eventually went off on her, calling out her racist thoughts, and she’s shut up about it since. Or at least, she’s shut up about it when I’m around.

I didn’t read it as an insult. If it was, then “lesbians” was an insult, too. It sounds like OP’s just using the hate-mongers’ own words.

I’ve already bought a 2nd Order of the Phoenix to burn

Weird, you should be able to burn the same copy over and over again. Just wait for the first one to reform from the ashes.

One of the things I saw, was that if a baby doesn’t seek eye contact with a stranger holding it, it should be a sign that the mother doesn’t give the baby enough attention!

That’s so messed up. Newborns are born with poor vision. “At birth, an infant is very sensitive to bright light. You may notice how small their pupils look, limiting how much light enters their eyes. A newborn baby can see something next to them with their peripheral (side) vision, but their central vision is still developing.”

It takes time for their vision to develop. From that same source, “At about 1 month, your baby may focus briefly on you, but may still prefer brightly colored objects up to 3 feet away. Infants are able to see across a room even at birth, but they are mostly interested in objects very close to them.”

As soon as the consequences become apparent interest in project 2025 is going to drop off a cliff.

I want to believe

Oh yes, those experiences made me download a white noise app!

For sleep, I have to break all of the “rules.” Have something to concentrate on like a game, video, or book until I feel like I’m “ready.” (Like dropping the phone or controller.)

I am exactly the same. I do switch gears, though. I have to stop using Lemmy when I get into bed - it’s too engaging. Instead I find some Wikipedia page that beckons imagery that I can use to fall asleep to, like reading about Roman aqueducts, or types of ocean waves.

I don’t do music for sleeping, but I do need white noise, usually provided by a fan (or at this time of year, by the window air conditioning unit.) Some of the hardest nights I’ve had were on road trips, staying in a motel where the AC or heat doesn’t run continuously and everything else is dead silent.

The first time I heard of “communists” and “socialists” was back when I was in middle school, when Bush Jr got us into war. All I did was ask why in the world we were invading Iraq, which had nothing to do with Osama Bin Laden. Sincerely trying to understand the world. That’s when the already-brainwashed kids starting flinging “socialist” and “communist” like they meant the same thing as “idiot.”

So, I decided to read about those concepts to see what all the hubbub was about. Surprise surprise, when I later responded to those same kids by asking what they thought the words meant, they couldn’t answer the question.

Now I’m thinking it’s kind of like the Streisand Effect - 'Muricans don’t want you to know about how other countries run. I didn’t know about systems besides capitalism yet, until the spawn of conservatives decided to use ancient fears from the 1950s as an insult in the year 2003. Surprise surprise, now there’s a swath of Millennials (and other generations, of course) just like me who learned that if conservatives hate something, it’s worth looking into.

I was just about to make a comment about anxiety. It’s something I developed as an adult, which coincides with a better ability to snap out of hyperfocus. I don’t know how I feel about it. On the one hand, I hate when it tries to trick me into believing something that isn’t true. On the other hand, if I didn’t regularly get “pings” of anxiety that make me take stock of my surroundings every so often, I’d be a lot worse at executive functioning. Pings of anxiety remind me that I have something in the oven. Pings of anxiety remind me when I’m driving that I need to pick something up at the store. Pings of anxiety remind me to water my plants.

Sometimes I want to get my anxiety treated, but I’m worried that if I do, I’d spend the whole day in la la land and never get anything done.

… or is that just my anxiety trying to trick me again?

This is a fantastic comment with helpful information and resources.

Though what I really wanted to reply to was your first part, because my god, is it true. Colloquially, a lot of people call this “being on the same wavelength” or sharing a “vibe.” Of all the people I may have called “friends” throughout my life, there are two camps - those I connected with naturally and effortlessly, and those that I felt I carried all the work in maintaining. I learned not to waste my time trying with those in the latter group - if the other person isn’t trying to be friends back, they just don’t want to be friends. It’s better to let them go, and put the ball in their court if they ever wish to come back.

However, the friends in the former group are people I still make and maintain connections to, even now, well into my 30s. These are the ones that share, reflect, and sometimes amplify my energy (for better or for worse.) I have to spend so much time focusing at work these days, it feels really good to hang out with someone afterwards and let my mind run unleashed, knowing there’s no judgement because they ride the same ADHD brain train that I do.

Same, that one is completely unrelatable to me. My boyfriend can do it, but we suspect it’s actually dissociation, a trauma response.

I’ve tried to so many times “clear my mind of thought” as people say to do for meditation, but all the attempts have ever done was leave me more stressed than I was before. My brain does not shut the fuck up. Ever. I’ve been suffering from insomnia as far back as I can recall, all because no matter how tired I am, sometimes my brain just will. not. be. quiet. Everything is a potential stimulus. Any minor sound, the feeling of my bedsheet, even having my partner turn over could remind me of some obscure memory or story or fact, and my brain doesn’t stop, it just changes direction.

Ooh, time for a real life, real time example, because that last sentence reminded me of something. I need to find a new psychologist - I tried explaining this phenomenon to him, and all he responded with was, “So, you have racing thoughts.” I told him no, this isn’t “racing thoughts.” I had one brief episode in my life where I experienced hypomania, where ideas shot a mile a minute and could not slow down - THAT was “racing thoughts.” This is merely “an unending train of thoughts” that travels at my normal speed. They are completely different experiences, with different causes, and that’s crucially important for treatment. But the man just wouldn’t listen, and I can’t trust a doctor that doesn’t listen to their patient’s experiences.

Okay, pivot over, now where were we…

Lisa gets it. From “The Italian Bob,” an episode where the family visited Italy:

Ooh nice choice! I’m using a protest wallpaper too. Though mine’s that “accidental Renaissance” shot where someone graffitied “EAT THE RICH” on the Utah capitol building, with three cops standing around while a crowd protests behind them. It’s just too beautiful.