I fired someone for ignoring their work, falsifying the records, and instead driving around all day in the company van playing Pokémon Go. Yes, the van has GPS. Yes, they were aware of this fact.

I should add, they had worked there for nearly 30 years, and transferred to my team. The individual had probably been shirking their duty in this way for their entire career, but the Pokémon Go thing was going on for several years at least. Their previous manager didn’t look into why someone with barely any customers was always so busy.

To be clear to anyone with minds being blown: air is gas and gas is a type of fluid. Water is liquid and liquid is also a type of fluid.

Solving a complex geopolitical situation involving two nations at war…in 24 hours. I wonder if he was lying?

They did, and most of it was implemented then as well.

It’s easier to block the sentient skid marks so they only have one another to argue with.

Orthostep 24 inch metal shoe horn.

All homes are disposable.

Now, castles…

I cannot seem to get this on a phone…it’s not dark enough for night mode, and my settings just don’t seem to capture it properly.

Glad you guys can share these though, great work!

I treat it the same way I would laser printer toner, at the very least I don’t want it on my desk.

Here I was trying to figure out what a chocolate cow was…

Towel warmer.

That is weaponized panic.

As long as every terrestrial node isn’t experiencing overcast skies, it should be okay.

Holy cow, we have the same problem. I only got [email protected] so I only get folks with permutations of my first and last name, but to this day I still get my Nigerian counterpart’s bank statements. I’ve got my UK counterpart’s PayPal payments for artwork they did. I’ve had my Australian counterpart’s job recruiters reaching out to me for months. It’s kind of embarrassing when I tell them they have the wrong email…

Using curbside pickup at Chick-fil-A. The line is a mile long, people. I’m in and out in 45 seconds.

You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.

Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

Depends on how the Coup part Deux goes.

Winning, or perhaps losing, is existential to Donald Trump. If he loses, he will most certainly have to face down his legal issues.

They should really consider switching from wildfires to some sort of renewable fire.

Ukraine will take them to make 200 kamikaze drones, in the ultimate ironic use for WW2 munitions meant for Japan.