I wish there was a filter to block any post with this asshat’s name in it.

Right. And since he was heading north but drifting south the effort failed. Were you schooled in Florida?

My fucking life with my wife and son. I honestly hope I get into a car accident with the steering column impaled in my chest so I can call them with my dying breaths to say I love them, only to have them not pick up because their ring is on mute. Then I’d come back as a total DICK of a ghost saying ‘See? I told you to turn your ring volume up!’

Lock them up! Lock them up! (In Arkham.)

“Yevgeny, It’s Vladimir! Hey, no hard feelings buddy! Why don’t you fly on over so we can put all of this behind us?”

It’s better than two in the bush.

Meh. Not really.

Q: Why are the Pyramids in Egypt?

A: Because England couldn’t figure out a way to ship them to the British Museum.

Tourists: What about my Constitutional Rights! If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German now!

I nice cold seltzer with a lime wedge.

It’s always the southern states that rate lowest in damn near every category.

“It’s called summer, libtards. There’s always mass die-offs of entire ecosystems in summer.”

We’re fucked.

Exposure to other people/cultures/lifestyles generally leads towards more understanding of them. I believe that is part of the core right-wing attitude that ‘colleges are liberal indoctrination centers’. You’re not being indoctrinated, you are being introduced and (gasp) seeing that they are regular people, just like you.

(Professor Farnsworth Voice) Good News, Everyone! The planet is dying but here’s a happy little article about a parrot!