No, we don’t.

Be the negative you want to see in the universe.

Don’t call it anything. Ignore it and maybe it will go away.

Ask the boss if we can draw for Secret Santa early this year and cheat so I get his name.

Congrats on your new cat.

Oh please let Steward Health Care find out about this.

Surely this leopard won’t eat my face.

Is there a GoFundMe where I can donate for buying their tickets?

I think not

Can confirm.

Great. After that, can we teach the adults, too?

Quick, how can we convince Musk to relocate Tesla HQ to Vietnam?

All of Donald Trump’s previous defense lawyers blink in surprise

Sinky McSinkerface

Well now you have just gone too far.

Ore not.

If you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal.

He’s not ignorant, he’s a demagogue performing for his ignorant base.

When you see them next, immediately greet them in a heavy Brooklyn accent. When they ask you what that’s all about, apologize profuse in a thick Nawleans cajun accent. When this is met with blank stares from your friends, immediately rush into another apology, this time with your best MinneSEWta flavor. After they finally come out of their stunned silence, revert to a generic American accent. They’ll never notice.

Almost feels a little too special.