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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • It’s a racket. The government does receive enough information to automatically calculate taxes for 90% of us, but Intuit and HR Block lobbied congress to keep it complicated and not allow automatic filing.

    My paycheck has deductions for tax, healthcare insurance, and 401k (superannuation) so net around 50% of gross like everyone else, and we don’t generally have to pay more at year end.





  • Is there any chance that you have dysmorphia, not a gut? 130 at 5’7" for a guy sounds pretty thin, even if out of shape, and the description of your diet sounds like you are certainly eating to maintain only 130, not a metabolism thing. Husband is 5’9 and said he was skinny at 145, I am same height and was skinny at 125, like really very slender. So we are close to your height and think you probably want more lean mass not less fat.

    I do stand by the previous advice, something vigorous in the morning and heavy weights as often as possible. There are a couple of things you have to prioritize so they will happen. Exercise is one of them. Besides the 5am runs, I have done 9pm gym sessions, 5:30 am jazzercise, find the time and don’t let go of it. Once it’s a habit you will feel better on a workout day than an off day.

    But you may have to eat more, not less, and lift to get the result you want.


  • Anything helps, of course. Anything is so much better than nothing.

    You are skinnyfat, yes? You don’t want to lose weight, you want to add lean mass. Weights are what do that best. Ideally you would want to lift heavy at least thrice a week if you are trying to shape up.

    I can only lift once a week lately (lady, mid 50s) but do yoga 4x/week too. It’s maintaining me reasonably lean.

    I have been where you are (single working parent) and what I did back then was wake up at 5am and run, because that was the only time of day nobody needed anything from me, and running is nearly free, just shoes. It sucked, but the days I ran I did feel better later on, it was worth it overall I think. If there is any way you can wake up a half hour earlier and do something vigorous, and then add weight training once a week I think you will get good improvement. Just maybe not as much mass as you ideally want.


  • This makes sense, but I don’t think you need to change your feelings. Your actions are what affect the people outside of you, they don’t know what you are thinking, and you already recognize it’s not reasonable.

    I remember when I went back to work after a few years raising my kids. It was odd to work with men, after only being close with the one man. But over time, it got normal and I am friends with some of them still, platonic friends. So some of it is literally just practice. Keep practicing. You sound pretty self aware, I think you will be ok.



  • RBWells@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlHow to find dynamic jobs?
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    11 days ago

    I have a low tolerance for repetitive work, am an accountant and my “career” has basically been two startups. There are places that just keep changing, changing systems and processes all the time. I don’t have to do things the same way every time, I keep trying new ways, and nobody feels stepped on if you suggest a better way of doing their job.

    I would say look for the culture - when you walk in here there are people talking, people cussing, getting up to get water or to go for a walk to clear their head. We can walk into the president’s office and make a suggestion (or email or teams them), and people do also transfer between jobs here, it’s encouraged.

    What I will say the tradeoff is though - chaotic places like this always require more hours at least some of the time. They are more flexible with you but also require some flexibility from you. For me that choice is a no brainier, I am useless in a more regimented job. But it doesn’t suit everyone.