My ex MIL is great in a lot of ways but I think a good example of a middle income conservative person with a disdain for the poor. She personally used welfare to go to school and become a nurse but in her mind this was exceptional - welfare she thinks holds people back (just not her, somehow). She doesn’t hate the poor, she just thinks they are doing it to themselves. Because she managed to make it.

I think that’s the fundamental difference between conservative and progressive, honestly. She thinks she personally should get whatever advantage, but if someone else gets it that’s cheating, basically. Even though she was IN that situation she blames others who are.

For me (and I think most people) the life experience of being poor and homeless gave me perspective and empathy for those who are in that situation now, and I’d like them to get more than I did so they can get established.

I go pretty much straight from work to yoga, make supper at a civilized hour afterwards, and take Wednesdays off workouts to, as you say, flop.

Gardening I do in the morning before work.

Cooking I do because others depend on me, that’s been true for 30 years now, before that I didn’t remember to eat, just when hungry. Don’t keep junk in the house if it tempts you, make your easy stuff healthier. Hummus, boil eggs on the weekends so you have those, fruit, bagged salad greens, make it easier to eat nutritious food.

I want to say suck it up and go to the gym, you will be glad you did. 9-5 is pretty nice hours, here it’s 8-5 or 9-6. Exercise is one non-negotiable for me. I have gotten up at 5 to run when that was the only option, and have gone to the gym at 20:30 after night classes after work when that was the only option. You will feel better if you just GO and work out even if you don’t want to.

Habit>willpower. Commit to 6 weeks, and by then your schedule will probably settle out. Personally I put exercise ahead of healthy eating because I know my body.

It’s hard for everyone. 60 hours of work week sounds like you need a new job. That’s not something that can be sustained over the long haul and I don’t think it leaves you time for an affair or drinking habit. In terms of practical changes: Transition your kid to 9pm bedtime, get help with the cooking and hire someone to clean each week if you have to work that much and can’t do anything about it for now.

My husband has a busy season - during this time I do more of the household stuff because he is working 9-9 six days a week. I have a busy season too - during this time I don’t try to cook every day, husband helps out more.

But all year we get help with cleaning, every other week.

I don’t remember but do remember my dad calling me an anarchist when I was very, very young. Like maybe 4 or 5.

Apples stay nice in the refrigerator, figs do, berries, grapes, citrus.

But I think what you need more is a checklist? So that it doesn’t matter if your fruit this week is in the fridge or on the counter.

I don’t follow pro sports, sometimes watch the college teams or the international gymnastics amateur competitions. Occasionally a soccer (football) match of our not top division but good local team but not often. Just not into watching men play games usually. But stuff like gymnastics and ice skating is so entertaining to watch. Competitive dance too.

There really isn’t any value past entertaining you, right? If it’s not entertaining you anymore, the value is gone.

Oh I guess I forgot rugby. I do not follow it at all but find it fun to watch. And the college used to put the basketball games on their TV channel with all the timeouts, halftime, everything taken out so it was just st gameplay and I always enjoyed those too. So sometimes I do like watching men play games if they are all action and not too long.

Young, Dumb, Young Dumb and Broke.

Dude. If you got into college you aren’t dumb, and the good job may help your mood (as my husband says, money doesn’t buy happiness but sure removes a lot of the stresses and lacks that cause sadness.)

My best wishes to you, and also to that weird vegan who is in a similar situation. I can’t say things will get better but will say things CAN get better.

We had a poster with “nutrition per calorie” and collard greens were at the top, I imagine kale is similar.

But you do need calories too!

I think dal with greens in it is probably the most nutritious. Love soup with meat but beans, greens, and rice feels so good and healthy, and has most of what you need for a day.

If the OP is asking for the most calorie dense soup, I would guess cheddar broccoli or cheddar cauliflower.

The unbrawlah. Any violence ends when you get within a meter or so of the umbrella when open. Not bounces off like a forcefield but like a zone of safety.

https://youtu.be/hn6AbrtjK9I

Relevant song. And a good one.

My dog - she was hacking and I let her out, she didn’t puke. Let her back in and she hurled all over the rug so I let her out, she seemed fine after puking and cleaned it then let her back in when the rug was cleaned and she puked on it again.

I threw out the rug.

Walking is a very good start, yes. And start slow.

When you get high at night, go for a walk. Night walk is lovely.

Also whenever you think about it, stand on one foot, sounds odd but it’s good for your body. Little exercise breaks, go up the stairs and back down a couple of times.

Mostly I want to say - building a habit takes six weeks. Force yourself every day for six weeks. After that it gets easier because you will feel better on a day you exercise, than a day you don’t, and because you will have found the time of day that works. Habit works a lot better than willpower, but you have to power your way through those first few weeks. Commit to six weeks of daily something. Push ups, walking, whatever.

We aren’t.

I cook, my husband cleans. So we both eat. Cooking for everyone else so I do remember to eat too.

I work out because I prioritize it. Same with sleep. Let other things slide if you have to, I promise they won’t slide as bad as if you don’t work out and sleep.

We have someone come and clean every other week so it doesn’t get too far out of control.

And not good at keeping up with people, oh well. I’m not really someone who collects people like that, though I have some friends who do, so got collected, lol. But we have parties once in awhile and catch up at those, or at least hang out.

That is so young to worry about a career. What jobs have you been applying to? There are other ways to get into trades, if that’s what you want. Or just working at the grocery store, they seem to want to promote men so much more than women. All the managers at the ones around here started as baggers, all are dudes. If there is a Whole Foods, they have programs to learn butchering, cheese mongering, pizza making, baking.

But get a job first, any job. My kids all started out working at the skating rink, crap job but it’s so much easier to get a job when you have a job. Will your parents let you stay there and save money?

You know, I thought it was gone, spent my youth watching bands in garages and stuff, didn’t hear much about that anymore, community radio station still around.

But then my high schooler asked me to take her to a show in a church. A what? But we went and oh my goodness underground music is absolutely still around. There was a mosh pit, I wished I’d brought earplugs, way too loud for the space but there was a punk band, a speed metal band, and the band she went to see was the headliner - all local bands. It is still there, you just aren’t part of that world anymore.

With my ex MIL I stay friendly because she’s great in so many ways, and just act completely ignorant when she says something awful, for example:

ExMIL: I’m looking for a church but can’t find one that is Christian enough.

Me: Oh, I understand. So many are just so worldly now and not at all Christ like, they don’t welcome the stranger, they do that prosperity gospel nonsense, culture war bullshit instead of good works. That makes sense.

ExMIL: oh I meant they are too progressive, too loosey goosey (Paraphrasing)

Me: Huh?

Or

ExMIL: I don’t understand this trans nonsense.

Me: I know, right? Who gives a fuck what someone else says they are! You say you are a boy, you are a boy, it doesn’t have any effect on anyone else, I don’t understand the drama around it, at all.

Basically whenever I get a chance I just intentionally misinterpret it like there is no possibility that she meant that, because nobody could possibly mean that.

Most of my soups are of the Clear Out the Refrigerator variety, so all are inventions in a way, I guess.

But recently made a dal with red lentils, coconut milk, Hong Tsoi, and Berebere and wow it was good.

I mean, so are nuts, olives, plenty of foods are high in fat. I don’t think it was mayonnaise making people fat.l, it’s from way before the 80s. (And BTW, people are fatter now, at least where I live.) I can make mayonnaise at home, it’s food, and hasn’t ever made me fat.

The prevalence of obesity in American adults (age 20–74, both genders) rose from 15.0% in 1976–1980, to 23.3% in 1988–1994, and to 30.9% in 1999–2000. 40.3% in 1994.

Better crisping & browning because butter has water in it. I do this too. It’s pretty widely used like that. Mayo smeared onto turkey skin before roasting also works, doesn’t end up tasting like mayonnaise.

I have been saying that for about 40 years, can’t be the only one.