Yeah, a lot of that. If you gave me 5 tasks in a row I’d remember maybe the last 2 and wouldnt even remember there were more tasks. Now my memory is noticeably a lot better. I usually remember what I came back to my room to grab now. It’s very different from what I dealt with before…
Of course I do recommend writing down work tasks and stuff when you can - it helps supplement and cover for the bits you still end up forgetting.
Like mentioned by others, the emotional regulation is a good result from your current medication. Is your psych recommending you switch to another medication?
I’m on antidepressants for my ADHD so the experience is likely slightly different, but being on ritalin solely at the beginning occasionally sent me into a focused spiral into very unhappy feelings that seemed even more consuming than usual. Then I switched to generic wellbutrin, which wasn’t for long but gave me insomnia.
Currently on Pristiq now and I and my partner have noted significant improvements in my short term memory and emotional regulation. Maybe your psych thinks there’s something that can address more than one symptom? Hope it works out for you.
“Just do it”
Well, I’m trying, but my brain decided I should spend the next 3 hours doomscrolling while I mentally kick myself for not doing the thing already.
I think with adulthood there’s been more things I can “just do”, but the smaller things usually get procrastinated to hell and back for no reason besides “my brain didn’t want to do it”.
Same with potential, whatever greatness I was promised by everyone who said that hasn’t happened yet.
I appreciate it. I have inattentive type ADHD (also, I think ADD is now nested under the ADHD umbrella), based on what I’ve experienced so far.
I’m not sure where I fall on the severity scale, to be honest. On one hand, I made it out of education with a 2nd upper class degree in humanities.
On the other, I can’t drive long distances (1h+) unsupervised and unmedicated because there’s a significant risk that I’ll just shut down in the driver’s seat and crash my car, even if I’m smacking my face and trying everything to maintain wakefulness. I can’t help it, and thankfully so far it’s only happened when I’ve been able to pull over and swap drivers or rest.
I’ll take that, brother.
I’m sort of on my last legs at this current job due to an accumulation of mistakes that could be attributed to ADHD behaviour. I hate using it as an excuse, but it colors so much of my behaviour. I don’t ever mean to make mistakes, and so much of them at that…
I have disclosed up my diagnosis to my boss to really try and improve my performance and work within my actual ability, and wrote my boss an email asking for accommodations. The follow up call was basically “You need to focus to do your job here” and “I understand you have been diagnosed, but this should not hinder your ability to do your job”.
I’ve been asked to submit my request for accommodations in writing, so it’s not like they’re completely against it. But I don’t trust that they actually understand the impact ADHD has always had on my ability to perform consistently at work and will be understanding of any missteps, even though I am trying to actively prove that I’m trying with medication and coping mechanisms.
I do have upsides. I work very well in crisis and urgent situations, though the sustained elevated stress leaves much to be desired.
Unfortunately, I’m not in the US and there are exactly 0 protections against ADHD, so me getting canned for underperformance, even if it’s associated to ADHD is fully legal. But I still appreciate your input here.
This exact thing has bitten me so many times!!
I’ll open an email, maybe not pick up on the need to action (especially if multiple people are required to action on things), and then my boss gets to hear about my lack of follow up.
I’ve tried to keep a list, like I’m working on individual work tickets which has helped, but even then I still miss a couple of items.
On hindsight, I do feel a bit silly about being so upset over a job. I left my previous because the workload escalated to too much, but in the current I was trying to stay, but I’ve made mistakes that have impacted business, according to my boss. I really liked the culture, but I think the writing is on the wall now.
In my performance management document, it was just hard to read about the “obvious lack of care” and “lack of proactivity and initiative”. I feel like I’m always struggling to keep my work in a row, to where I’m just tired and don’t have the energy to really ideate or something.
I’ve been started on some non-stimulants, but the psychiatrist said it might take a while to take effect. I’ll probably be more diligent on following up there as well to try and get myself together a bit more. I also do go to the gym about once a week.
It’s hard sometimes to see things not work out/fall apart, and the main common denominator is yourself.
Hm, it feels like I’m always expecting the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable collapse to happen. I’m always scared of that, and so far, despite best efforts, it’s been true.
I usually reach a point where I’m struggling to deliver even a “reasonable” workload in possibly some form of burnout, and then mistakes happen, and bosses start to side eye me. My lack of ability to notice detail at times also doesn’t help, even if I do double back to check.
But I’m still early in my career, so I am learning, developing new coping skills and moving on to do better (I hope).
Thanks for the encouragement. I’ve been put on performance for a while at work and despite my best efforts the situation isn’t improving. I’ve only got a few more weeks before basically guaranteed termination.
I definitely did have a moment recently where I found a mistake in something I made a point to go through with a fine tooth comb when I did it, and I was so horribly disappointed in myself I wanted to cry and resign because I tried so damned hard, but I still screwed it up.
And you are right about gaining experience and starting afresh. I hope that as I go along I’ll just gain more experience and be better at my job until I can work and meet expectations, like the average neurotypical person.
Take some of the questionnaires from more legitimate ADHD resource sites. Where I scored highly likely to be ADHD, my partner did not at all.
That being said, you could also undergo psychiatric assessment with a psychiatrist, but it may be a little expensive. I would recommend it if you can, because medication and appropriate psychotherapy can greatly improve quality of life.
I think it’s definitely really early to say if they have proper romantic interest in you, given you’ve only known each other about a week? But from your post, it seems like you two have points in common and have a lot to chat about, which is often a good foundation for relationships, friendly and romantic.
In terms of learning Linux, it’s probably ideal to have a bit more of an outline of what you want to start teaching her because it’s a huge jump into a new OS (not that I know much of myself). She may not know where to ask you to start and would appreciate more suggestions from you on where to begin, like telling her “Today, let me show you (practically) how to install (OS) on a system and navigate it” and going off that.
I think the tl;dr would be: Have a Linux lesson plan, expect friendship first. Take it slow.
Hope things go well.
You don’t need to disclose the diagnosis to your employer as long as you’re not seeking any accomodations. I’ve personally withheld my diagnosis from my boss since there’s no need for accomodations beyond my medication.
I used to have a very hard time staying awake in meetings that didn’t involve me directly, and medication has been a lifesaver. There will be people who insist you never had a problem before, etc, but I’d encourage you to just ignore them and do what’s in your best interest. You know yourself best.
I majored in communications because I was so burnt down after secondary school that it was more a process of elimination - I couldn’t do everything from A to Y, so that only left Z. But I would’ve liked to go into something to do with computers.
My father’s a software developer too, and seeing my neurotypical younger brother following in his footsteps now is a bittersweet experience. He gets a lot more attention from our dad, and I feel like he’s the white sheep of the family, where I’m the black sheep for not being able to do well in life
I don’t know if I’ll ever retrain to pursue that career, but I’m in my mid 20s and there’s time if I’d like to. Right now I have a stable career, and I’m working towards life milestones one day at a time.
Are you also a recipient of the “You have potential, you’re just lazy” award?
Its sad to see that we all bear that weight of all these great expectations we just couldn’t seem to meet, despite our best efforts.
My partner was also the one who suggested I get checked. I hope you’ll be able to find the support and help you’re seeking soon, because it really makes a difference.
All those flaws you’ve kicked yourself over for a lifetime suddenly become manageable and doable with medication, in my own experience. It’s such a: “Wait, that’s it? That’s all it takes?” moment.
I forget if Vyvanse is available in my country, or if it’s only available in longer effect doses here. I’ve also heard about Concerta (is that the name?) but so far I’ve only tried Ritalin and it works pretty alright if I’m not overstimulated when it starts kicking in.
I have gotten overstimulated when I went out shopping once while it was in effect. Not a pleasant experience, but definitely a new one.
That’s a pretty interesting fact about Vyvanse though. What’s the window of effect for the one you take?
My interests are like that other meme that got shared here recently, lol. I’m a jack of many, many trades, and I can’t ever seem to complete projects I start, though I am trying more now.
For people like me, being stuck monetising a single interest strikes this deep sense of unease in me. I’ve been working a few years now, and I’ve decided to stick to something I’m not passionate about, but I can do the job to my abilities and put a lid on at the end of the day.
Anything else would probably consume my thoughts and leave me feeling mentally exhausted. It’s like task paralysis, but worse.
I’m on desvenlafaxine, an antidepressant. It helps with the ADHD “walk through a doorway and wtf was I wanting to do again” problems I have. I’m also a generally functional person with ADHD. Graduated with a degree and all but just rather spacey and forgetful.
Also turns out I’ve been massively depressed for years so that also cleared up. I haven’t taken Vyvanse, but back when I was taking just Ritalin I’d still get intense negative moods and was generally snappier. If taken as needed now it’s not so bad.
Overall: 10/10, husband recommends.
(He pledged that he’ll fund my medications if I ever had trouble buying them since I’ve done a lot better since going on them. Happy wife, happy life and all)