• 4 Posts
  • 58 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • Those are wonderful tips, for both me and my friend.

    I have made it a point to get to know and be friendly with people, though more on my pay level (it always pays to have friends in IT!) and in unrelated departments.

    One friend has actually been incredibly helpful in helping me prepare for my upcoming interview, and they had worked there before and shared a lot of information that wouldn’t have been easy to publicly research.

    I’ve done the reminders thing more and more now too - enough that when I forgot if I was meant to be present to assist in clearing up an event, I turned up anyway since it was in my calendar (and was told that I needed to retain what my manager said better…).

    Thank you for taking your time to share your experience. I hope that if I become a manager some day to someone else, I’ll have learned what not to do from my current manager.


  • Speed isn’t really the issue - it’s the accuracy of my work. Since I have to click and fill multiple fields when entering data, it’s easy for me to miss one field, or forget sending an email out after the entry etc. That has been the main problem which landed me in the PIP.

    That being said, the tool is very rudimentary and relies on clicking exact coordinates on the screen. If you so much as nudge your mouse the coordinates will be off and it won’t do what you want it to.

    No one on the team would have the understanding to maintain it once something breaks. For example, a task like adding a contact to an event we’re hosting, it’s coded to add it only to that event because I’ve programmed the script to open the dropdown, scroll and click specifically on that event name. The existing functions will be dated very quickly and they wouldn’t know how to update that.

    Considering I had to ask IT to allow the software specifically for my use, they wouldn’t be able to do much quickly if my manager had demanded they modify it to work for them.

    So, I’m not very concerned that they would be able to take it and use it after I leave. It’s on a technical level that’s not IT level, but above their basic understanding of computers unless they want to take time and learn AHK.

    But given how my manager sees the tool, I’m not convinced they understand the power and usefulness of it enough to try and take it for themselves anyway. The old ways work fine for them, just not for me.


  • I…actually enjoy mixing my basic cakes and brownies with a fork. I met my husband as a poor student, and as a lazy adult, I just don’t want to clean the mixer 😂 (he uses the mixer instead and bakes more often)

    I’m planning to speak with my manager’s manager to address the fundamental hole in their understanding, but with the personal understanding that I’m on the way the out no matter what. After the review last week I was honestly just done.

    The manager even asked how I was feeling and such during the review, but I was in no degree of confidence to say more than “about as well as someone in my situation can feel, I suppose.”

    Their manager (HOD) can tell them where they’ve messed up after I’ve demonstrated the script to them in front of HR (who was very helpful and said they’d have a harder time dismissing me if I brought up and demonstrated what other things hadn’t been done to ensure my success in the PIP) next week, but I am going to be leaving anyway.

    I think I’ve worked to show my dedication when I commute over 5 hours a day (5am wake up!) to and from for this job, have not had any attendance issues and have been generally very open to helping wherever I can.

    I can tell that what I bring to the table isn’t appreciated here, and the best thing I can do for myself is to find somewhere that does.


  • I appreciate your empathy on this.

    I wish I didn’t have to build a tool just so I could achieve mediocrity on par with my neurotypical manager, but them’s the lemons you get with life at times.

    I didn’t want to be more likely to miss out filling one field out of 15 when doing data entry, but the brain doesn’t like sequences and “following the process”, so I’ve made a thing that not only does the work faster, but makes it so I don’t miss anything, which I think a competent manager would have seen as wins all around.

    It was strange being spoken to about why I did the first round of steps then didn’t send out a confirmation email, which is when I realised that it was because my brain just felt like it was too much energy to do that next step since it felt like starting a whole new (small) task, which I understand that fellow ADHD folks struggle with. Obviously I couldn’t explain that to them, could I?

    This job definitely was not a good fit for me, and I’ve also learned from others I’ve met here about how I could better set myself up to succeed in a future role, and also the words to advocate for my disability with. (I also don’t love that this is, in fact a disability. But disabled folks really don’t get a choice.)

    I wish we didn’t have these massive obstacles to overcome just to function “normally”. I hope you’re in a place where folks are kinder with you.




  • I have. Showing them a script is just more for my own personal satisfaction at this point to have someone else see that I am capable of things, just different competencies.

    I have an interview with a place that came highly recommended next week. So, I might just take a Ritalin today and really put work into making a killer presentation for the interview.

    The job market is crap, and I am desperate to get this role, lol. It matches up much more strongly with my actual work experience as well.

    Wish me luck :)


  • I’m definitely still learning to ask for accommodations, because apparently asking them to understand that I’m more mistake prone for admin stuff is not an accommodation. In future roles, I’ll either install AHK on my own, or request IT to give it to me as an accommodation from the start.

    The manager is probably a lost cause. According to another colleague, they were actually expected to do marketing work on top of the admin as part of their role when they first were hired, only to really hate it after they joined and somehow their boss just accepted that and left the marketing manager to handle everything solo…

    Sometimes people get away with shortcomings, other time they don’t.


  • Omg, hi, lol.

    I wish I had done it sooner before I got stuck on a PIP, to be honest. The script eliminates the human error I was struggling with when working manually as long as it works fine.

    It was also in a workplace that required full in office presence (customers would come in) and the network blocked WhatsApp, and I’d been talked to one day about my excessive phone use (because I was low on tasks that day).

    Being told “We can find things for you to do if you’ve done everything” probably should have been a red flag, but I’m also in a place where I couldn’t afford to be a chooser and leave.

    On the upside, I got a mouse that supports multiple connections for covert phone browsing and might look into building a wireless split keyboard for the same reasons in my new downtime. I currently use a wired sofle.


  • I moved from a marketing role (5 years experience) to a more heavy administrative role (new), even though marketing was in the job description. Marketing turned out to have a much smaller share of the tasks I would undertake daily.

    I have to work on tasks for 3 different managers, so the management depending was quite different.

    The marketing manager was the nicest and was very considerate of my time dedicated to other tasks and tried their best to give me interesting work assignment opportunities. They are by far the happiest with my output, and had no complaints besides having had to chase up a couple times.

    The manager I worked with the least kind of outlined the tasks for say, preparing for an event, but mostly expected me to know what they wanted from the general outline, or expected me to ask my main manager, since they previously did the work.

    Main manager was the toughest - I worked with them on day to day the most. They’d show me a thing once with a high expectation of me doing it right after, so they didn’t tend to check until major issues popped up. They just moved up from my role to being a manager, so didn’t understand how to manage really.

    The environment wasn’t terrible, but I didn’t feel like I would be supported if I was struggling or in a bad place (which, I wasnt). They put me on a PIP 3 months into a 6 month probation for a 1 year short term contract.


  • Thank you.

    The tool does trigger little bits of dopamine - you manually enter maybe 50% less and it’s done at a speed your eyes can barely track. As a supportive colleague said: “It’s automagic!”

    Its my 2nd PIP. In between the last role where I was managed out and this one, I had a team and manager that were chill with my shortcomings and appreciated the diversity of tasks I could take on and do well, since they had to review and sign off on it anyway, so mistakes weren’t seen as much of a problem as it was flagged and corrected prior to anything going public. Probably helped that my manager was also likely ADHD and prone to her own snap changes in decisionmaking and small mistakes, so it felt more like a mutually supportive thing.

    It really built up my confidence, so to have moved into a role that was new and had responsibilities that really were not to my advantage, and then put on a PIP again so quickly did hurt. I moved to a new country, so I had to leave my last role.

    But I know that in the right environment and I can do well. Coupled with the anti-depressants that help manage the inherent ADHD anxiety and improve my executive function, I’m not lingering on my sadness for too long at least.






  • I’m a marketer by profession, but I just moved to a new country to be with my husband and am still job hunting.

    Growing up, my dad was a programmer. I was a kid in the 2000s, and I wasn’t allowed to spend money online because everywhere just looked sketchy as heck then (and we also didn’t have the disposable income). Over the years I’ve watched my dad build up his own movie downloading and streaming solution, home automation, etc, but never had the opportunity to really try my hand at this stuff till I moved out and suddenly had free unemployment time and a very supportive husband.

    I’m still new to it all, but I’ve managed to get docker working, Komodo to manage containers, firefly III for finances, Pelican to run game servers (that none of my friends have really played with me on 😅) and created a basic homepage to link to everything.

    I’m considering doing Jellyfin, but I’m not a huge movie/shows consumer, so haven’t really started on that. It was nice being able to ask my dad for help when I was figuring all the basics out though. We never had that much in common to talk about, and this made me feel a bit closer to him, even if I live across the globe now.


  • I’m on desvenlafaxine, an antidepressant. It helps with the ADHD “walk through a doorway and wtf was I wanting to do again” problems I have. I’m also a generally functional person with ADHD. Graduated with a degree and all but just rather spacey and forgetful.

    Also turns out I’ve been massively depressed for years so that also cleared up. I haven’t taken Vyvanse, but back when I was taking just Ritalin I’d still get intense negative moods and was generally snappier. If taken as needed now it’s not so bad.

    Overall: 10/10, husband recommends.

    (He pledged that he’ll fund my medications if I ever had trouble buying them since I’ve done a lot better since going on them. Happy wife, happy life and all)


  • Yeah, a lot of that. If you gave me 5 tasks in a row I’d remember maybe the last 2 and wouldnt even remember there were more tasks. Now my memory is noticeably a lot better. I usually remember what I came back to my room to grab now. It’s very different from what I dealt with before…

    Of course I do recommend writing down work tasks and stuff when you can - it helps supplement and cover for the bits you still end up forgetting.


  • Like mentioned by others, the emotional regulation is a good result from your current medication. Is your psych recommending you switch to another medication?

    I’m on antidepressants for my ADHD so the experience is likely slightly different, but being on ritalin solely at the beginning occasionally sent me into a focused spiral into very unhappy feelings that seemed even more consuming than usual. Then I switched to generic wellbutrin, which wasn’t for long but gave me insomnia.

    Currently on Pristiq now and I and my partner have noted significant improvements in my short term memory and emotional regulation. Maybe your psych thinks there’s something that can address more than one symptom? Hope it works out for you.


  • “Just do it”

    Well, I’m trying, but my brain decided I should spend the next 3 hours doomscrolling while I mentally kick myself for not doing the thing already.

    I think with adulthood there’s been more things I can “just do”, but the smaller things usually get procrastinated to hell and back for no reason besides “my brain didn’t want to do it”.

    Same with potential, whatever greatness I was promised by everyone who said that hasn’t happened yet.