Nature’s dumbest, most disgusting and loveable vacuum cleaner.

This is the only correct answer here. If you wouldn’t have posted it I would have.

Play to your strengths, Lauren. Maybe it’s time to drop the sad quasipolitical angle and just go pro.

I had to go demonstrate what you’re saying, and yes, 100% possible, but impressively bad situational awareness for sure. The science has been done, thank you for this hypothesis.

So real talk, was this guy trying to wipe with his pants UP? I’m desperately trying to figure out how you’d do this unintentionally.

This is gonna sound so fake it’s ridiculous, but at least it’s short. This was about a decade ago when I was about to go to college, so that factored into the setting, but the other part? No idea. Basically, I was riding around my college campus on the back of a raptor, saddle and all. I was having a blast, and everybody thought it was so cool that I had a badass dinosaur to ride around on, because obviously nobody else did. That was the whole dream, zero plot, nobody got eaten, just me and my raptor buddy having a grand ol’ time stomping around campus.

Hottest? Last summer, driving home, Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex area. The A/C in the car I was driving was busted, it had zero window tint and a plexiglas roof panel so there was no shade whatsoever. The area was getting that extremely dry late-summer heat that area gets during made worse by the heat dome effect over the city. The actual temp was likely 108°-110°F, but the “feels like” was somewhere in the upper 120°s. Add to that the fact that the wind itself was literally hot, and there I was driving down the highway with my windows down cooking in what basically amounted to a convection oven. I ended up finding that I was actually cooler if I rolled the windows up. When I got home my shirt was totally soaked and as a result, it has the shadow of a seatbelt burned into it.

Coldest? Around -20°F in central Utah during winter at about 3AM during an impromptu snowball fight in the apartment complex I lived in. Zero wind and about a foot of snow on the ground. Again, surprisingly dry, so it was legitimately PLEASANT with a ski jacket, long johns and jeans, when compared to a humid, windy winter as warm as 32°F anywhere else in the same gear, but definitely the coldest temperature I’ve seen by the numbers.

Imagine believing in a guy who allegedly told as many people as he could to spread tolerance and acceptance for literally everyone, then going and preaching the exact opposite while saying they’re doing it because he said so. Incredible.