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I was in the military and was friends with a guy I worked with. When I got promoted I changed positions, so I didn’t see him much at work, but we still hung out outside of work often.
One day he did something that could have gotten him in a lot of trouble. I was the only NCO (Sargent) around when it happened. My supervisor offered to take care of the punishment himself because he knew we were friends. I said no, he’s my friend, I witnessed it, so I’ll take care of it. Plus I was able to convince them to just give him some paperwork, instead of more severe punishment he could have had.
I took him into a private area, explained what he did wrong and that he was only getting paperwork. He didn’t say a word, just signed it and walked out. I tried to go talk to him after work and his roommate came out calling me all sorts of names, asking how I could do that to him, and how I was a power tripping asshole, on and on. I asked if I could talk to my friend and explain and he told me my friend requested I never come back over.
I was at that base another year and he never talked to me again.
His last communication was a Facebook post to the world about how he only had room for supportive people in his life, not people who wanted to tear him down.
Guess he got tired of me saying mean things like “You should be paying your debt down, not buying things you can’t afford” “Your wife is right and you shouldn’t fight her on this” and “I understand that the universe rewards positive thought with positive destiny but you also need a plan”.
He chased a ball into the street.
I let my agoraphobia get the better of me.
In 2016, when I voted Bernie Sanders.
I lost two friends that year, because they wanted Clinton.
Welp, we knew who voted for the right person back then.
Overdose
The Iraq War
My own dumb actions.
I deserved it. We are on speaking terms now years later at least.
I was weak and lonely and easily susceptible to her boyfriend’s advances. We were quite young, early teens.
Joke was on all 3 of us… he hadn’t figured out yet that he was gay. Neither had she for that matter. They’re both infinitely more happy now. And I’m happy for them.
She stole from me.
Worst example is friend who, after being hospitalized for accident while car surfing, died car surfing again. I wasn’t present for either event.
Second worst is dude with head injury (unrelated) started talking about crystals and toxins and juice fasting. Called him out one day, and it was catastrophic. This one is still alive, at least AFAIK.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
When my ex- and I were going through a divorce, they didn’t want me to say anything publicly at all. They were insistent that it wasn’t anyone else’s business, and since I was trying to make the process as painless as possible, I assumed that this was a good-faith request.
I was wrong.
I was being silent, and they were telling everyone a load of horseshit about me, and bad-mouthing me in public to every single one of our mutual friends. I lost all but one of our mutual friends; my silence was assumed to be an admission of guilt.
I’m so sorry. I strongly suspect this happened to me as well. To this day I’ve never mentioned the evidence I had of her infidelity to anyone, because I’m a better person that she is. My former friends likely discovered this for themselves in due course.
Friend moved and changed his cell number at same time… I didn’t yet have his email so lost contact.
Found him years later at a random shop, got his new contact info and still besties today :)
I ordered some supplements for him, $24 in value. We should have meet when he returns from the trip. He just ghosted me instead. We were friends since 1997. I didn’t even planned to ask him for money… Yes, he is still alive.
I don’t think there’s a reason, which I think is the saddest reason. Growing up and drifting apart. Tried many times to fire up conversations but don’t know where to start.
If that’s the case, my gut feeling is you may have been friends out of convenience. For friends I haven’t talked to in decades; we pick up like no time has passed at all.
Nah these things are funny like that you can end up just like this with very close friends, it’s not inevitable but you also can’t reasonably predict which friendships are like the ones you describe that can survive a long hibernation and ones that for all the will in the world enter a freeze from which they never fully thaw.
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD’d in the bathtub. Wasn’t even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife’s baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30’s. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
That’s really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
Good lord what a hand you’ve been dealt. My sympathies.
Good friend, helped me through my parents long divorce. I moved abroad and got a bit lonely out there. Him and his then longterm gf who I was also good friends with had planned to come out and see me.
They then split shortly before. I wanted to be friends with both of them, but if I’m honest with myself, I thought the gf had feelings for me, as her texts to me were getting very high in emoji content. I encouraged them both to come separately and my friend said that our friendship was over if his ex comes to visit me. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
He didn’t visit, she did. Nothing happened but there were clearly mixed messages on my side. Lost two good friends in one go.
Have made a few good friends since then, but I do miss him and that social circle a lot. I surprisingly haven’t learned to not take liberties in friendship circles, but I’m trying to learn.
