Basically when I’m relaxed I act submissively but only when I’m on the alert I am assertive. It’s like when someone asks you a math question out of the blue versus when you know you have to be ready for one.
Is this normal? Or should I try being more passively assertive?
It is completely normal.
I have no idea what passively assertive is but what you should do is learn when to be “alert” as you call it.
When I am at work I am ready to go. When I am at home I am zoned out and not dealing with it unless it is time to. When I am driving,I am ready to go. When I am chilling on the stairmaster I am in the zone and focused only on the next step.