No it was not easy. Literally no step of the process was even remotely pointed in the same direction as easy. You observing me finally finish a task does not mean it was ever, is currently, or necessarily will be in the future, easy.
And if it is easy in the future? That’s my personal win, not your right to dismiss my past hard work that got me here.
It feels pretty easy when all you have to do is observe and give occasional instructions.
Most people are pretty bad at guessing the amount of effort someone else needs to complete a task.
Most people also have enough empathy to ask how much effort it was instead of telling you what they experienced and assuming it was the same for you.
Unfortunately, some people will still think a headache is painless because they are not the one experiencing it.
When you have well-developed muscles, a thing can be trivial to accomplish for which others struggle.
On the flip-side, if you refuse to do a thing because it is hard, you never develop the muscles that make the job easier.
However you slice it, I’m sensitive to a trend of “This is too hard!” that stands in for “Someone should do this for me!” (or “I shouldn’t have to do this at all”), often without the thing being complained about in the mention.
My mom used to have sudden-onset headaches and dizzy spells. And I remember growing up, picking up more and more of an adult role to compensate for her infirmities. Eventually, she figured out a routine of medication and habit that helped minimize the pain. And I was happy to help her along the way, until she was on her feet and able to take care of herself and the household at large without me being at her side constantly.
Then I started dating and met someone who also regularly complained of sudden onset headaches. And, initially, I was incredibly sympathetic. I leapt to help. I offered time to relax and whatever they needed to heal. I - again - started picking up a bunch of extra chores and tasks to afford a loved-one an opportunity to recover. But when the onsets became difficult to manage, I started suggesting things they could do that helped my mom that this person found annoying and patriarchal. And that turned headaches - particularly ones that I wasn’t able to adequately provide support for - into relationship disputes. Eventually, we broke up over the fighting that precipitated from me saying “We need a long term solution” and getting vitriol back in response.
So I don’t think headaches are painless. But I also don’t think “I’m entitled to your care, not your input” ends well for anyone involved.
I don’t disagree, and I’m sorry you went through all that. Also, the crux seems to simply be “I’m entitled”, and that’s an easy enough flag to spot, in the future. 🖖🏼