I’m a Spanish person living in the Netherlands for already almost 9 years. In one hand at some point in these last years, I started to feel like I don’t belong in Spain anymore, and on the other hand the, I think I’ll never feel fully integrated in NL. Any thoughts? Advice? Someone feeling the same?
This is interesting because I always feel like I adapt when I move and become a version of myself that does fit in.
I grew up a city boy.
Moved to the country and began wearing outdoor gear and rock climbing until I was indistinguishable from my neighbors.
Moved to a hippy town and started smoking weed in tie dye until I was indistinguishable from my neighbors.
Moved to NYC and started wearing a hat and an overcoat until I was indistinguishable from my neighbors.
And now I’m on the border of Mexico and don’t look anything like my neighbors, but apparently I’ve picked up enough Spanglish that people have still started asking me what region of Mexico my family is from (none).
I’ve retained little elements from each phase of my life and carried them over into the next, but every level also stands out as a distinct hybridized version of myself that I became for a time. In turn, it helped me discover new parts of myself that I would not have found if I hadn’t changed how I was living to fit my environment.
So, if you feel like you don’t fit in, maybe try to adapt to your surroundings so it is a little easier for people to meet you in the middle culturally.
Fantastic advice!
I also tend to be a chameleon in different situations, and I’d like to point out to any naysayers, that even though it may look like these people aren’t being true to “themselves” they really aren’t faking it to fit in. We’re exploring these people’s lifestyles and gaining interest in them. We learn to appreciate these things that our neighbors or coworkers are into and incorporate the things we enjoy into our own personal identity.