I started making more noise after my neighbors clearly did not realize that the quiet they enjoyed from my apartment was out of deliberate consideration on my part, and not a mutual experience. I started with normal sounds like coughing or laughing or playing some music, but after that didn’t work, I started to make noises they would be embarrassed to ask me about. It somewhat worked at reducing their noise levels. I knew they heard me because they stopped making eye contact. But they were also awful people so that was fine with me.
Thankfully they moved and I now have a quiet neighbor who gets to enjoy my silence. Occasionally they’ll get a little noise from me to remind them that the wall between my bedroom and their main room is very thin, but I haven’t had to escalate it like with the last people, for which I am grateful. My other neighbors are a very quiet elderly couple and I love them, but our shared wall is substantially thicker, which is partly why I love them.
I would never interpret an uptick in noise from my neighbors as a message. I’m autistic and very unperceptive in this dimension so it may well just be me, but I think I’d start worrying about someone if they told me they thought that their neighbor coughing or laughing more audibly than usual was an attempt at communication.
Even the other sounds… maybe you got a new sex toy or developed an embarrassing medical condition. I’d just assume you’re doing your thing, not trying to weird me out.
The message was just “you can hear me” which I hoped would then logically translate to “therefore I can also hear you”. The normal kinds of sound just didn’t get the message across for some reason so I added the awkward element - it allowed for longer sound duration than briefly coughing or laughing, and made it more difficult to ignore. I’m pretty sure they thought I was just doing my thing.
It’s definitely a very oblique and passive aggressive approach to the problem, but it worked well enough that I didn’t have to go for something more confrontational, which would have been the next step.
I would get that message, but I’d probably assume that if you’re living in a shared building, you’re cool with sounds of other people doing their thing, have coping mechanisms, or will speak to me/write me a note (could even be anonymous).
Now I just hope my neighbors are and have always been assertive/aggressive enough to spell it out. Except for the upstairs adult neighbors who rollerbladed back and forth on their tile floor for a couple hours a week to build proficiency. I do hope they were constantly annoyed.
I started making more noise after my neighbors clearly did not realize that the quiet they enjoyed from my apartment was out of deliberate consideration on my part, and not a mutual experience. I started with normal sounds like coughing or laughing or playing some music, but after that didn’t work, I started to make noises they would be embarrassed to ask me about. It somewhat worked at reducing their noise levels. I knew they heard me because they stopped making eye contact. But they were also awful people so that was fine with me.
Thankfully they moved and I now have a quiet neighbor who gets to enjoy my silence. Occasionally they’ll get a little noise from me to remind them that the wall between my bedroom and their main room is very thin, but I haven’t had to escalate it like with the last people, for which I am grateful. My other neighbors are a very quiet elderly couple and I love them, but our shared wall is substantially thicker, which is partly why I love them.
I would never interpret an uptick in noise from my neighbors as a message. I’m autistic and very unperceptive in this dimension so it may well just be me, but I think I’d start worrying about someone if they told me they thought that their neighbor coughing or laughing more audibly than usual was an attempt at communication.
Even the other sounds… maybe you got a new sex toy or developed an embarrassing medical condition. I’d just assume you’re doing your thing, not trying to weird me out.
The message was just “you can hear me” which I hoped would then logically translate to “therefore I can also hear you”. The normal kinds of sound just didn’t get the message across for some reason so I added the awkward element - it allowed for longer sound duration than briefly coughing or laughing, and made it more difficult to ignore. I’m pretty sure they thought I was just doing my thing.
It’s definitely a very oblique and passive aggressive approach to the problem, but it worked well enough that I didn’t have to go for something more confrontational, which would have been the next step.
I would get that message, but I’d probably assume that if you’re living in a shared building, you’re cool with sounds of other people doing their thing, have coping mechanisms, or will speak to me/write me a note (could even be anonymous).
Now I just hope my neighbors are and have always been assertive/aggressive enough to spell it out. Except for the upstairs adult neighbors who rollerbladed back and forth on their tile floor for a couple hours a week to build proficiency. I do hope they were constantly annoyed.