They’re disempowering themselves. Describe themselves as a victim of circumstance, powerless and without responsibility. It’s a disempowering narrative. You’re shooting yourself in the foot. In this story that we live, you are casting yourself as an npc.
On the flip side, saying “I can’t” adds authority to your argument. You’re citing an unstoppable force as the root cause of your actions. So it’s a tradeoff that way.
Is the social situation controlling what you say?
Not sure what you mean. I’m just saying that everyone contributes to social situations (in varying degrees, of course). That is, to the group they’re part of. When you look at the language people use to describe the current political environment, for example, you notice that many feel that they live in a movie (“I hate this timeline”, “can we skip to the part where…”). That’s a pretty significant part of the cause, but it’s usually overlooked, because the responsibility is put only on the active participants.
I can’t do that [because I respect myself too much]. Not everything needs to be said aloud.