I think it was a bit of a sleight of hand to make it about time. Because time is quantifiable. You can give 5 minutes of your time but I figure most people can attest that has little to do with how much actual attention you’re giving. And it’s attention that we crave. That’s what social media is built upon. When you really love and enjoy something or someone, you’re thinking of it, even if you’re not actively engaged with it. And on the other hand, if you give something attention for long enough, you do start to develop some kind of an attachment on it ( which easily becomes unhealthy too, like doom scrolling ).
Sorry to be a former little vampire (now a grown vampire), but I crave my parents’ affection and approval so fucking much.
I’d literally have a panic attack if I had to go out on the world on my own…
Idk why my brain is this fucked up, but I have this weird separation anxiety and trauma bond with parents, especially my mom.
Even as they are emotionally abusive with me at the same time.
I remember every time my older brother fights me, I just want to run to mom, and I did. I literally ran away from home when I was 6 because I felt so scare at home, I just went to my mom’s workplace to look for her.
That incident scarred me for life.
I’ve been seeing a therapist to help deal with my massive amounts of anxiety and I believe a good amount of it is separation anxiety (along with fears of letting people down and low self esteem). I’m 30 and have never moved away from my parents. Mostly it was cause I couldn’t afford to since I worked a minimum wage job, but now I probably could afford a cheap apartment close to work if my mind didn’t run haywire at the thought of not being around my parents and helping them daily. My mother passed away a couple weeks ago and so much work I’ve put into managing my anxiety feels like it has come undone cause I no longer have the main person in my life that felt they really understood me and was constantly pushing me to better myself.