I got bullied a lot. The only clique that didn’t bully me, was them. They were very ride or die people. They always made me laugh, my first ever crush was on one of them, but I never told him. Then, years after school, I’d get random people from that subculture helping me. A bunch of them talked me out of suicide. I didn’t even know them, but that’s what they did. And now that subculture’s just…gone. I know those people still exist, obviously, but every time I think about it, or watch old videos involving people of that subculture, I feel a wave of warmth followed by emptiness. I never got to thank some of them for making my teenage years my golden years. I felt safe opening up to them emotionally. Otherwise, I was a closed book. My family are very “get on with it” “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” people.

I forgot to put my age, but I’m a woman, and 30.

  • just_another_person@lemmy.world
    133·
    2 days ago

    Essentially, you’re just describing a feeling of “Better Times”, or nostalgia. Nothing wrong with that, and everyone has those feelings.

    It becomes a problem when people tend to fixate on that, and not realize that time has passed. Not that you can’t create those conditions and feelings again, but that life circumstances and everything else really make it impossible to replicate that same thing again realistically.

    I think it may serve you better to focus on what about that situation made it great for you, and what practical means you have to create a similar social circle again that will approximate those same feelings. It won’t be exactly the same, of course, but it sounds like you have just been feeling somewhat lost without a similar group of people around you.

    • MotoAsh@piefed.socialEnglish
      21·
      2 days ago

      I don’t think nostalgia and “remembering better times” are equivalent.

      I can reminisce about “better times” all day, but the feeling is absolutely different when some old stimulus comes on and punches you right in the feels.

      Nostalgia is literally feeling those old feelings, not simply remembering them and whining about how they cannot be wholly recreated.

      • just_another_person@lemmy.world
        31·
        2 days ago

        As others have pointed out, I think you should read the context of what OP is saying.

        Had, then lost. Thinking about a lost time. Literally the title.

        You’re just describing a subjective way to process feelings.

        • MotoAsh@piefed.socialEnglish
          21·
          2 days ago

          Nope. Just recognizing the nuance between nostalgia and literally remembering better times.

              • just_another_person@lemmy.world
                21·
                1 day ago

                Then you’re not understanding what I said. Can’t help you there.

                Edit: are you confused on what the word “or” means, perhaps, or is it the Oxford Comma?

                • MotoAsh@piefed.socialEnglish
                  21·
                  1 day ago

                  lol no I’m not confused. You seem to not understand the situation… sad.

                  You said, “you’re describing the feeling of ‘remembering better times’, or nostalgia”. Those are two different things. You agree they’re two different things, yet you’re confused on my point … pathetic. That is pathetic levels of comprehension.