Be a pipe layer for a while (construction not sex).
Eating a sandwich after a live sewer tie-in really changes your perspective of clean.
You can probably start with careful exposure therapy. I’m not sure how to do that with germ phobia. I dealt with a fear of spiders by reading about them and looking at pictures until I stopped feeling disgust/anxiety. I then just kind of noted and moved on when I saw one in real life. These days I see a spider and can even move it if it’s in a bad spot without feeling anxious.
Not knowing your triggers, I can’t say if that path would help or make it worse.
https://fherehab.com/learning/germophobia-treatment This could be useful for learning terms so you can look up and find reviews for self help books.
For my social anxiety, I started out getting books from the library about that specific phobia. It took a lot of time to get from there to telling my doctor I was anxious all the time, to medication, and then therapy. I doubt I’ll ever be free of it, but I can do a lot of things now I once couldn’t (small talk with customers? wow!)
It kind of has to be guided by you and the specifics of your phobia, unfortunately. Like, would looking at a picture of a dirty surface for five minutes a day make you anxious? Just a little, or a lot? If a little, try it. If a lot, scale it back further. Hopefully someone with a similar phobia comes around with more relevant advice. Good luck?
Is there a specific location where you’re worried? Kitchen? Bathroom? Public transport? Work/school?
I mean just being outside my “zone” where I sleep, you know.
Like the closest to bed is where everything is “safe”.
Then like the closer to the door of the room, is where there’s like more “contamination”.
Cuz like… family members and their very… um… unsanitary behaviors that when I was a kid, I didn’t really remember thinking about that stuff too often. But I think after covid, my brain just got into hyperdrive.
I think part of the reason why that my highschool looked very “ghetto” and like it was very dirty, and people put gum in textbooks and on tables…
And I didn’t think too much about it at first, but then idk why right before covid, I’d had a low-key worry about cross-contamination so I avoid going in my room until I showered and get a change of clothes. Then like I also avoid taking my bookbag to my room, and just take the any necessary materials for assignments or whatever.
Like I think it’s just I slowly realized about the floor being very dirty.
Especially like if I have to use the bathroom, I’d have to leave it on the floor of the bathroom stall…
So… I think it just slowly got worse and worse.
Once covid hit…
Oh wait back up a second…
One week before school went online, I ended up detained at the local police station because I defended myself in a school fight… like wtf it’s self-defense…
But anyways… it’s a dirty ass jail cell with a bunch of other kids… that that just pushed my germophobia worse…
I remember when my parents got me out that night, I was feeling more contaminated than ever and had to take a shower and I remember just staying in the shower longer… both because I felt so wronged by the authorities and also because why not… maybe I need a more through shower.
Then… covid…
So after covid got lifted, and I went back to school… that’s when I notice my germophobia just went from 4/10 to 9/10
Then it just goes downhill.
Then I started to notice my family members behaiors.
Not washing their hands after using the bathroom… especially mom, wtf
And also cross-contaminating the trash can with the dining table.
Like literally bringing the trash can and it touched the dining table.
What the fuck?
Sometimes touching the trashcan then not using soap to wash off the germs
Omg
Like just a bunch of very disguisting behaviors
Now whrn I got outside, I’m very afraid someone is gonna cough near me.
I used to open windows in the family car, but now I just keep it tightly closed so outside germs cant get in.
And also if I notice a window open, I immediately tell my dad to close it (only driver’s seat has controls to all 4 windows) and I get very anvious every second it stays open and I’d just be like “CLOSE THE WINDOWS”…
okay I must sound like a freak
I avoid public bathrooms even more intensely now, I also kinda hated them before, but now its a red zone.
Now I’m really reluctant to even go outside.
Don’t even wanna go hug my mom because of the aforementioned unsanitary behaviors.
Feel like I’m going crazy, how do “normal people” even live life normally without fearing germs?
It sounds like more knowledge about virus and bacteria lives can help too. So you know how long a surface just has to be dry for before no virus and bacteria could have survived that long, and stuff like that. There are definitely surfaces and conditions that can increase their life spans, but the average life span without water and in the light, can be surprisingly short.
Definitely still a good idea to be careful, but very helpful to know more about how careful is the right amount of careful.
Also, viral/bacterial load is a huge factor. Like, you have to notice how despite how “gross” everything “should be” people still aren’t getting sick as often as you would expect. Just cuz some bacteria got somewhere, and is still alive, doesn’t automatically mean someone would get sick if they touched it, or brace yourself >!licked!< it. Most traces are going to be too little to make a difference against someone’s immune system. That of course goes out the window when there would be no defense, or very little defense. But even there, people on chemo are still exposed to “amounts” of bacteria and virus all the time and they only get sick sometimes despite being immunocompromised. There are alot of hurdles to getting sick even when a bunch of them are knocked down.
But yes, definitely try to be more careful than the average person is, but you don’t need to drive yourself crazy trying to get down to zero exposure.
Especially since that can lead to lowering the strength of your immune system long-term. And then you really will “have” to be careful. You don’t want to get there. Your immune system needs to keep taking it’s new tests every day in order to not fall behind the rest of the class. The more often you come in contact with an amount of bacteria or virus that doesn’t make you sick, the better. But it is of course a gamble, and more knowledge about what the actual risk is, is very helpful to win those gambles.
Have you looked up “contamination OCD”? That’s basically what you’re describing! I wouldn’t say it’s overly common among the general population, but it is an incredibly well known phenomenon and something that providers are definitely able to treat! If you’re not able to see someone due to various reasons like cost (totally understandable!), you might try looking up the methodologies that specifically address and treat contamination OCD.
