there’s a million different strategies on how to function well with adhd, and some of them even work. but every single time i encounter the same problem - even if something works and improves my quality of life it’s always short lived. i get distracted or something happens that throws me off the rhythm and then- i can’t restart.
so now i have a mental library of all those tactics that work and very little motivation to try again, it’s going to last a week maybe, and then back to being a mess i go.
is there any way to work against that? any point of view i failed to consider? any tactic that is designed to stick? or just something that doesn’t work on an assumption that you need to do it consistently for it to work? (and then feel like a failure once you inevitably stop doing it)
all the tips and tricks i googled fail at this step, no book on adhd that i’ve read highlights this problem, this can’t be just me right?
i’m just so tired
I think this is something that even those without ADHD struggle with. A change in perspective may help, but it will require exercising a considerable amount of willpower either way. One perspective that has helped me is: Motivation is not reliable. By its very nature, it is fleeting and will wax and wane. What I need is discipline, which is doing something even when I am devoid of motivation (which is most of the time).
For me, it’s difficult being consistent in the gym. I simply cannot rely on being motivated enough to consistently hit the gym several times each week. Though by exercising some degree of discipline, I will force myself into the gym even when I don’t feel like it, and that helps keep the habit up even when motivation is absent. It’s a slog, but I’m always happy with myself afterward for just trudging through.
Even when being disciplined, it’s okay to let yourself miss things here and there as long as you’re overall sticking to it. Some days you may go, “I missed my last 2 workouts, so today I’m going to just do one push-up which is better than nothing” and that’ll have to do for today. Small victories when you can get them. And not beating yourself up when you falter.
Discipline is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets (ideally. I imagine this is a very uphill battle for those with executive conditions). Hope this helps.
yeah no matter how much i try discripline is incredibly difficult. my mind just doesn’t respond to “have to” or “should”, only must. if there isn’t a must to do the dishes, there is no force on earth that’ll convince my dumbass brain do move and do them