I grew up in a house where my parents intentionally never raised their voices.
It’s made me unflappable in the face of shouting, but also resulted in years of misery as I learned a constructive way to handle raised voices outside of the safety of my home.
Coughing on the other hand… triggers my fight/flight every time.
Nope; I have no idea why. Cough seems hardwired to my “this person is about to die!” reflex, compounded with “…and they’re transmitting whatever is killing them to me!”
I can’t think of any traumatic childhood events that would have conditioned this response.
We dont raise our voices in the home, if it happens it’s very rare and under exceptional circumstances and wondered as I’ve my kids are getting older how they would handle if/when people yelled at them outside the home and how I could prepare them for it except letting them know it’s going to happen and you can’t control other people’s actions (to a degree)
I grew up in a house where my parents intentionally never raised their voices.
It’s made me unflappable in the face of shouting, but also resulted in years of misery as I learned a constructive way to handle raised voices outside of the safety of my home.
Coughing on the other hand… triggers my fight/flight every time.
I’m not sure i understand the cough thing, is it because that’s what they would do as their biggest sign of upsetness?
Nope; I have no idea why. Cough seems hardwired to my “this person is about to die!” reflex, compounded with “…and they’re transmitting whatever is killing them to me!”
I can’t think of any traumatic childhood events that would have conditioned this response.
We dont raise our voices in the home, if it happens it’s very rare and under exceptional circumstances and wondered as I’ve my kids are getting older how they would handle if/when people yelled at them outside the home and how I could prepare them for it except letting them know it’s going to happen and you can’t control other people’s actions (to a degree)
I know the feeling, a cough causes an instant panic for me.