The textbook definition is being aggressive without partaking in direct aggression. A simple rule of thumb difference is that with passive aggressive behaviour you can pretend you didn’t know you were aggressive.
Like, if you throw a brick at your neighbour’s window while he’s watching TV - there’s no way you can twist it as meaning anything else. That’s the normal non-passive aggressive and you can’t really pretend you didn’t mean it the way you did it.
If you pour water in the middle of harsh winter in front of their door, that’s passive aggressive - you avoid direct confrontation (unless they happen to see you) but are aggressive towards them. He might suspect it’s you (you threw a brick through his window after all!) but he can’t prove it.
That’s what’s frustrating about passive aggression - everyone in the room (including the passive aggressive person, their target and any bystander) knows what’s going on, but it’s not direct so the aggressor can claim “omg I didn’t mean it that way.”
The textbook definition is being aggressive without partaking in direct aggression. A simple rule of thumb difference is that with passive aggressive behaviour you can pretend you didn’t know you were aggressive.
Like, if you throw a brick at your neighbour’s window while he’s watching TV - there’s no way you can twist it as meaning anything else. That’s the normal non-passive aggressive and you can’t really pretend you didn’t mean it the way you did it.
If you pour water in the middle of harsh winter in front of their door, that’s passive aggressive - you avoid direct confrontation (unless they happen to see you) but are aggressive towards them. He might suspect it’s you (you threw a brick through his window after all!) but he can’t prove it.
That’s what’s frustrating about passive aggression - everyone in the room (including the passive aggressive person, their target and any bystander) knows what’s going on, but it’s not direct so the aggressor can claim “omg I didn’t mean it that way.”