Not really what you are asking for, but I found the combination of KaraDAV and Filestash to be a great alternative to Nextcloud, and much more stable for basic use.

As for Owncloud… I am skeptical of the company behind them ever since they split off into them and Nextcloud. Probably better to avoid, regardless of what you think of Nextcloud.

If you need it you will find it, and if you don’t, maybe it is unncessary clutter in your life that would be better to get rid off in a yard sale asap?

Movim actually predates the creation of ActivityPub (and its precursor protocols) and back then XMPP was the popular choice, even Twitter experimented with running their service on an XMPP backend. But despite its age, Movim has kept up with the times quite well (as did XMPP in general).

https://mov.im/ or another instance from https://join.movim.eu/

Runs the https://movim.eu/ open-source software.

Federates via XMPP.

https://write.as/

Which runs this open-source software: https://writefreely.org/

Federates via ActivityPub.

They probably used on of these federation “helper” scripts that just siphons up the entire fediverse. That is just a bad idea and results in a bloated database like they were complaining about.

Voice call implementation in Gajim is only waiting for an upstream improvement, it is already working otherwise. Sadly upstream seems slow in fixing this.

You can try this unofficial Windows version of Dino though, which supports calls: https://github.com/mxlgv/dino

Edit: and there is of course always Movim, which works fine in most browsers and supports 1:1 calls.

XMPP clients for Android are great, for iOS a bit less so. On Windows / Linux Gajim is probably the best option right now. JoinJabber.org has a good list of up to date clients (do not use Pidgin, it’s horrible and super outdated).

In general the main downside compared to Discord is the lack of voice-channels. 1:1 voice or video calls work great with the Android clients and group calls are partially supported in some desktop clients (that is currently very active field of development for XMPP clients).

Why wouldn’t XMPP work? It fulfills all your requirements and has nice modern apps, especially for mobile. Definitely better than Matrix.

The easiest to get started with it would be setting up a Snikket server (Prosody based, but pre-configured for small private groups).

If you connect via 10gbit PCIe extension cards it is often a question of how many PCIe channels the CPU has and if the mainboard you are using has these connected directly to the CPU or needs to pass them through the mainboard chipset which is much slower.

There are external GPU cases that might work with your laptop, but at least on older models these were relatively bandwidth limited which doesn’t matter that much for gaming, but I guess it might cause more problems with AI workloads? On the other hand, maybe not if the model fits completely into the vRAM of the m40?

You can always encrypt the backups you upload there.

Depending on the specs of the shared webspace it is possible to install some php based webdav software to easily sync files with it. KaraDAV for example.

Any pc with two network ports and Ipfire will do. Easy to set up and configure.

Glinet makes travel routers with OpenWrt on them and internal microSD slots as well as external USB ports. Pretty easy to turn those into a media server as well.

The audio is very quiet, it’s probably a microphone or post processing issue.

Castropod is cool, maybe you can try to figure out why it doesn’t properly federate with Lemmy and file some issues on both sides?

That is why I said it depends. There are many places where electricity cuts for a short duration are quite frequent. Often you don’t even notice it, but a 24/7 server would be effected.

In general, I think the risk of laptop batteries catching fire is overstated especially if you limit the charge to 80% or so. So weighting these two issues against each other you can come out either way, but I think for most places it will come down towards a UPS being nice to have.

Depends. Usually it is still good as a UPS for a few minutes, and some laptops have a bios option to limit full charge which lowers the risk even further.

Since Snikket is just an XMPP server, it can be used with desktop apps like Dino as well.

All the corporate gamification feature are probably quite annoying.

It really is an enterprise solution and I doubt your family will be happy with it.

Why not just set up a Snikket server and use that? You can easily create group-chats and share pictures and videos there and the interface is similar to WhatsApp.

Maybe https://picocms.org/

But Hugo is fine, no need to use all the advanced features.