Butterfly stroke. Technique’s still terrible but I cam clear, may be, 30 meters in one go. Because if the nerve problems in my leg, I decided to drop jogging and start swimming again.

Pineapples and anchovies.

KeepassXC, Syncthing, Orgmode ecosystem.

May be not the worst, but as I grew up I start to see my mother as a prima donna with anger issues. Though we have a good relationship now, my childhood had always been at the mercy of her anger and ego. All my failings were about humiliation for her as a mother and all my success (what little there was), was her doing. She showed very little affection. I remember one time being sick as a kid and hyperventilating on our way to a clinic. I was scared and try to cling to her as we wait for the doctor. She seemed more annoyed than worried at the time.

She’s also a typical asian parent, driving academic success at all cost. I think her being a somewhat busy single mother is what kept me kind of sane throughout my life. If she’s a typical middle-class asian housewife with all her time being dedicated to me, I think I’d be a lot more messed up. I know that single mothers tend to have to struggle a lot, we do have a lot of support from my aunt and we didn’t have to worry about food and a place to stay. We lived comfortably.

Some of her physical disciplinimg includes typical cane lashes, face slaps, hair pulls, making me kneel on prune seeds, twist pulling my skin and ear, etc. But I think it’s her verbal abuse that really gets to me to this day. It was always about how other mothers with high achieving kids have good karma (lucky) and she doesn’t because of my mediocrity. I get compared to other kids a lot and sometimes she said I only deserve to eat other successful kids’ shit so that their success might somewhat rub off on me.

As I grew older and became, well… not rebellious, but indifferent to her outbursts, she started to play the victim. A mother at the mercy of her kids’ “deliquency”. The last time we fought was while naming my new-born son. In my country, it is somewhat of a tradition to approach fortune tellers to give names according to the weekday the child was born on. I didn’t care for that and gave him the name my wife and I agreed upon before he was born. Us having a child, a wonderous occasion, became about her and she started playing the victim with all our relatives.

Well, she had mellowed out a lot since then. I think it’s because she started reading a lot of educational posts from facebook and the country’s general shift toward more progressive child nurturing attitudes. I had gotten over a lot of what happened, but sometimes I still struggle with showing affection towards her.

May be Apostle? It’s one of the memorable ones among recent horror.

Your essays are a great read as a starting point!

Thanks for the links!

Thanks for the suggestion

Wow, Elixir and OTP. I envy you.

Yu Yu Hakushou. I didn’t even realize the name is Yu Yu Hakushou until years later. I only remember thinking the delinquent guy with a laser sword and a guy shooting energy balls from the finger tip’s pretty cool.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclone_Nargis

restless leg syndrome

Bodhisattva is one of the first beliefs where Mahayana (East Asian) and Hinayana/Theravada (South/South East Asian) sects differed.

While precursors to Mahayana tradition held belief that anybody can achieve Buddhahood by becoming Bodhisattva, the conservative Theravada sects claim layman can only achieve the status of Arahat at most.

That’s a populist belief marred by just world fallacy.

The end goal of Buddhism is to achieve Nirvana, which means no more Karma and no more continuous rebirth amd suffering whether they’re “deserved” or not. It can be implied that continued rebirths are itself suffering. So the only peaceful path is to stop it somehow.

I’ve stopped being Buddhist a long time by now but I did discuss a lot of it’s philosophy with some studied Buddhists and monks.

Also a lot of populist Buddhists are actually scared of Nirvana. They just want to be reborn into a nicer life than they have now.

Rainbow in the dark by Corey Taylor and The Last In Line by Tenacious D. A lot of songs in that Dio tribute album’s pretty good.

My wife’s impressed though, may be a little…

But she’s also a programmer.

Primer

Stardew Valley

I learned to play a cool song that incorporates slapping and fingertapping on guitar, but I re-areanged it to play without fingertapping cause finger tapping on my guitar sounded horrible. Still sounded pretty close.

Chocolate and yoghurt. Chocolate flavoured yoghurt taste gross.