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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • Very cool & giving me some inspiration for… stuff.

    Momentarily thought they were mailing out hard copies, as they seek a mailing address to check out a book. I get this is likely to comply with copyright obligations, or just because the charity lacks the resources to supply the entire world, but it is a vulnerability should the library be attacked. Suggest users furnish addresses they do not live at - ideally non-residential addresses - addresses of campaign offices of local homophobic & transphobic representatives would work, but so would govt departmental buildings or commercial premises which are used by a lot of people (best to not put some randomer at risk).







  • Maybe, when nobody is trying to have a discussion, and everyone is feeling fairly neutral & not preoccupied, you could let your sibling know that the sounds which might be acknowledgement can be misinterpreted as frustration. Acknowledge that you appreciate they might not be frustration, but that you’d like some clues to tell when they are actually frustrated or disinterested in engaging, so the Elders can develop a more useful sense of how to continue. Continuing might involve insistence or boundaries, but could equally involve leaving your sibling be or finding some other approach.

    As an aside, you sound very loving & I really admire your determination to find a way to help your family communicate more effectively & with less aggravation. You make your family sound very cool.


  • Made the silly mistake of trying to disabuse myself of the fantasy of rewilding a bit of land with some interlaced permaculture, as am barely functional & very clueless, but wanted to avoid group projects as very introverted & would want to camp overnight at times then perhaps graduate to an extra-basic one-person cob structure.

    Found something ideal-seeming isn’t nearly as costly as I’d imagined, so the fantasies I’d been trying to shed have gone… stratospheric.

    Don’t really know anyone, so can’t even get together a group to buy it as a trust, but may give a collective I’m aware of a head’s up as they’re likely to know of other collectives who have yet to find suitable land.








  • Kinda yes, kinda no.

    Average human is often vile, but most have never had a single thought about trans stuff besides maybe (if they came across it at all) “that’s a bit odd & I don’t really get it but sounds kinda difficult”.

    They’re already the chunk of the population which tends heavily toward simplistic fantasies in the face of uncertainty & change, so even though the transphobic tend to be those with the mental wherewithal to fret about things besides their immediate material conditions, they don’t have any meaningful resilience to assess the safety or threat of any difference nor, more importantly, a sense of how to be in themselves. Like bullies, they’ll move to stamp anyone that demonstrates that the “rules” are not even guidelines.

    They’re gross but I feel pain that they feel as badly about other humans as they do.





  • Have noticed a lot of people get addicted to diet soda relative to soda generally. Maybe it is just the caffeine, but most sodas have a lot of that.

    Could you try swapping out one soda a day for a fizzy water? Maybe one for a coffee or a tea as well?

    Food is harder to acquire new habits with, especially if you have to travel. I think that noticing what textures & flavours you reach for can help to figure out what to have instead, and identifying the pattern of cravings can help suggest methods to get ahead of them.

    Willpower tends not to work so great for anyone, and less so for those of us with ADHD, but discovering satisfying alternatives can be useful.

    That said, am a bit all or nothing myself when it comes to changing habits, as if a stricter boundary requires less thinking?