Mamdani is the next Obama. He’s savvy, smart and says all the right things. If he hasn’t yet been coopted by the corporatists, he soon will be. I’m just saying manage your expectations.

Would fucking over Mamdani make Jon Stewart feel more filthy than pinning a medal on a Nazi? Or how about giving a tongue bath to two war criminals (Hillary and Condoleezza)? Jon Stewart isn’t the hero we thought he was.

Yeah, thanks for the heads up Captain Obvious, now fuck off, sheepherder.

We need more Luigis.

A few years ago I discovered that my girlfriend takes monster shits. She only poops once every 3 or 4 days. When I say “horse turd”, I’m not kidding, just looking at one of these makes my ass hurt. Anyway, apparently this sort of thing isn’t unheard of. I stumbled on a Reddit post about something called a “poop knife”. I repurposed my shittiest chef’s knife (pun intended) for this task, which has cut down on the number of times I have to plunge the toilet. We wash it off every time with tile cleaner, so it never goes in the dish washer. I’ve blunted the edge since it doesn’t need to be sharp, and my girlfriend is a complete klutz. I can easily imagine her dropping it and cutting off a toe. Imagine having to explain to an ER doc cutting your toe off with a poop knife.