She only comes out at night, though.

Shouldn’t it be “he consulted his 4th brother”? Unless there’s one we don’t know about… yet.

Something involving beans and jeans, more like.

It’s about liability. Companies don’t want their salt returned to them after x years, especially not with some lame excuse. So they just define an expiration date y that’s far off enough to not drive customers away, but still minimizes the risk of complaints.
If a (big) customer successfully complains within this time span, they’ll simply decrease it.

Cats don’t go to school.

Yeah, I’d like to know if the cat was capable of scaling her own nest up for her human.

That’s pretty much the basic premise of the Chuang Tzu.

That’s why I don’t keep a lot of stuff.
Otherwise, I could never stop buying new stuff.

You should also keep him away from wine bottles.

Thanks. I didn’t know there was a real band called “The Pipi Pickers” and I might have lived on happily without that knowledge.

What an Oblivion mountain lion actually looked like

♪ Nightswimming, remembering that night
September’s coming soon, I’m pining for the moon ♪

It would… if the annexed territories became a special economic zone where, magically, slavery was made completely legal.
For an example what might be yet to come, you could take a look at the horrifying history of the construction of the White Sea-Baltic Canal which happened in a similarly hostile environment.

Now, now. The rich, especially in the US, will become richer by a lot. And that’s all that matters… for them.

In authoritarian societies, restricting education serves a purpose as a sort of anesthesia for the minds of the people. Solzhenitsyn, describing the few years just before the Great Terror of 1937 started in the Soviet Union, mostly from the perspective of a political prisoner (from Volume II, Chapter 4 of the “Gulag Archipelago” which can be found in its entirety on the web, in The Archive):

And the clock of history was striking. […] The Great Leader (having already in mind, no doubt, how many he would soon have to do away with) declared that the withering away of the state (which had been awaited virtually from 1920 on) would arrive via, believe it or not, the maximum intensification of state power! This was so unexpectedly brilliant that it was not given to every little mind to grasp it, but Vyshinsky, ever the loyal apprentice, immediately picked it up: “And this means the maximum strengthening of corrective-labor institutions.” […] And this was not some satirical magazine cracking a joke either, but was said by the Prosecutor General. […] All this was printed in black on white, but we still didn’t know how to read.¹ The year 1937 was publicly predicted and provided with a foundation.
And the hairy hand² tossed out all the frills and gewgaws too. Labor collectives? Prohibited! […] Professional and technical courses for prisoners? Dissolve them! […] Graphs, diagrams? Tear them off the wall and whitewash the walls.

1 My take: The author and his peers most definitely knew how to read, but they could not fully comprehend what was being published because of its, at that time, unparalleled egregiousness.
2 Certainly the one of Stalin.

Tangentially related, he once said: “I had a German tell me one time, he said, the two pillars for us are NATO and the EU. NATO is for life, EU is for quality of life.” I wonder how that’ll play out in the near future.
EDIT: corrected link.

You’ll completely float on mercury, and cesium does no good to your body. Like, at all.

I agree with everything you wrote, but I don’t think they carved up only Ukraine in that phone call. At least all of Europe, possibly the entire world.