Instructions unclear, flying in wrong fluid.

When I started my meds in about a month later I finished nearly every project I had started in the previous year.

It was like magic.

I could pick up the tools, get started, and finish.

For me the fun is not only still there but the crushing feeling of self loathing from being unable to finish anything is gone because I can actually finish things now.

It’s amazing.

Luckily for me I got a good one from the start, one of my friends had to try 4 different meds before they got the right one for them.

Not with the same camera (I don’t have a filter I can slap on the modded camera to go visible spectrum)

I took that one about a half hour before I did with the full spectrum camera because after getting home my boss gave me the day off. I did get some nice pictures with my G9 on that walk but I’m still sorting through the pictures.

One thing that’s been pissing me off lately on YouTube Music is that it’s been changing the upcoming songs AND THE PREVIOUS ONES in a random mix.

Not to mention it’s also been just losing the previous played songs as a whole at random.

This is infuriating as sometime you just gotta play the song a few times and then BAM it loses everything. Or I’ll change the order of the next few songs and then BAM, completely different songs in the queue.

“Just gonna add this loot to the party’s inventory real quick.”

OMG YES!!!

This makes me really happy because it’ll make collaborating with friends on things a lot easier.

Medium format is really fun to shoot too! I’ve also got a Lubitel 166b (also a TLR, and a HELLA cheap camera) that I snagged awhile ago and it needed a lot of work too.

The artifacts around the edges of the image here I think might either be some light leaks I still need to fix or from my bodged scanning.

I develop my black and white film myself as it’s WAY cheaper to do it myself, I’m planning to start doing cyanotype prints soon as I think that would be really cool too.

Fixing larger older cameras is really fun IMO, it’s complicated for sure but they’re WAY more simple than newer cameras.

I’ve got 1 more from that trip out there, with large format it’s pretty tough to get a bunch of shots.

So much this!

If you’ve got an electric vehicle you can charge it with anything really.

Solar panels, hydro, wind, a generator, etc

The perfect apocalypse vehicle load out IMO is an electric car (perhaps even an electric van/box truck), electric dual sport motorcycle, and a bicycle.

NGL that pic you shared looks bad ass!

Well you know what they say, the camera adds 10 lbs.

My favorite is when I go through this, think I didn’t make it, then open the microwave to see my cup of now cold tea.

The first draft is stream of consciousness

Just hammer it out until it is done

Sentence structure? Doesn’t matter.

Punctuation? If you feel like it.

Spelling? Fcuk it, wing it.

Do the editing and later

Think of the first draft as a rough hunk of marble you carve out of a mountain. You bring it back to the shop to do roughing passes until you can find David within.

Literally this last weekend I hammered out 10,000ish words in one of the many story projects I’m working on. I’ll finish one at some point, I just need to stop hammering these things out at 2am when I need to get up at 9am.

I feel you friend, my meds ain’t working as well as they should anymore but the closet appointment I can get for adjusting them is still weeks out

One of the “perks” of my job is that is basically pure chaos when you focus on the little details. Big picture you’re just loading and unloading trucks with a forklift, but in the thick of it you’re positioning pallets, identifying what kind of freight it is, confirming the paperwork is done properly, determining position for each type of shipment, balancing the trailers, and on, and on. Not to mention that every single trailer throughout the day is a clearly defined goal that I can see the progress of constantly as I approach finishing the trailer.

That chaos for me helps (as crazy as that sounds) because there’s so many little details to track and check that it’s a constant stream of new details.

The only problems I’m having at work really is getting there on time, taking my breaks on time, and leaving on time. The actually grind I’m doing fine at… mostly… at least not bad enough to draw attention… currently.

I think a big factor for why my boss is understanding is that his son has ADHD and he knows what that like.

Now my personal life on the other hand, that’s a trash fire currently due to the ADHD and the meds needing adjusting.

NGL it really is

Plus you get the perks of doing them with other people, which is hella nice

I’m trying, honest!

I just get paralyzed right as I try to start!

It fucking hurts when I finish a day, can’t muster the energy to start on one of my projects, then just sit there hating myself while I waste another day doing shit I don’t enjoy (scrolling memes) rather than doing something I do enjoy (ANY OF MY GOD DAMNED HOBBIES!)

Tomorrow though, tomorrow I’m starting a print job for film holders for my new (to me) 4x5 camera and hell or high water putting at least one brush stroke on my Orc Marauders Battle Truck model (it’s for One Page Rules, an approachable tabletop war game)

And the overwhelming urge to take a nap before the dryer is done rocking.

I eventually got a second bed set just to help me out on that front

But unfortunately they’ve got a different thread count so they have a different skin feel then the old ones so I absolutely can’t mix the sheets with the other ones because the difference is too jarring

Not to mention also hoping that it doesn’t just bounce out of your brain when the next thought pops in

NGL though sitting under a tree and watching the clouds drift by in this state is pretty nice

It’s like I shift into a different gear.

The chaos in my head falls silent.

The cool of the shade I’m sitting in, the whisper of the wind in the grass and leaves, the chill of the grass on my skin and the soft caress of the wind in my hair, the soft smells of earth and damp moss, the sight of the clouds twisting upon themselves.

The clouds dancing to the sounds of the wind.

It’s a moment of peace before something pulls me back.