Eyedust

Note taking has it’s place, but I agree. Once you go from note taking into crippling habitual hivemind its lost the main point. The time I spent on making my notes look amazing and growing my thought library rather than working on executing my actual ideas was getting insane.

I’ve seen some of the Obsidian maxi’s graphs in tutorial videos. There are people that have spent literal weeks of their precious time on these massive dot-to-line hoards. It really becomes literal e-hoarding. Like counseling levels of bad habit. Then they hold these humongous, continent-sized graphs up like a trophy. Mine’s bigger than yours. Whip it out and prove it.

Now I only jot ideas I want to remember later if I’m in the middle of something, write down dreams I may forget (or nightmares, as it helps me calm down and analyze them logically), and keep to my diet and shopping lists.

I really don’t need more than that. Any reminders or schedules go in my android FOSS calendar (Etar).

Yeah, I was diagnosed with severe chronic anxiety, but I also have an ADHD diagnosis from when I was a kid and tested for autism. When I broke my tailbone and they gave me oxycodone, it was bliss. I could just focus and really lock in to things that interested me. It comforted me.

I could only take 5mg. Any time I tried 10mg I panicked. So, when I ran out, I looked for an alternative that could do the same thing and found Kratom. I don’t recommend it, really. That’s why I’m still working with my doctor. I want to get off it.

Hasn’t helped me yet, but that’s because I haven’t found a med that doesn’t give me wild side effects.

• SSRIs - Nightmares, anorgasmia, RLS, insomnia leading into mania.
• SNRIs - Sleeping nearly 20 hours a day for a week. Also had a real side effect called something like “excessive disrupting and disturbing yawning” where I would constantly have yawn attacks and could not stop yawning for ten minutes. It actually drove me into a panic attack because it was messing up my breathing.
• NDRIs - This was a wild one. I was angry and combative. I wanted to destroy everything I touched and I didn’t even care.

I’m going back tomorrow to tell the doc that the SNRIs didn’t work, so hopefully I can try something else. Right now I have hydroxyzine as needed and it somewhat works, but it also causes nightmares for me as well if I take it too late, which kind of kills the point of taking it on sleepless nights.

At this point I’ve just been continuing Kratom. But again, I can’t take it at night due to vivid nightmares. Seems like anything that ups my serotonin does it to me.

Well… sometimes people just don’t understand each other, too. It was nice talking to you. I didn’t ask any questions because you made yourself quite clear in other comments. You seem to be the type that makes timid people feel unseen, and I don’t vibe with that.

By trying to make sense of everything, I don’t mean the small fishbowl you seem to be seeing here. I mean humanity. Maybe I’m just insane.

Well, good luck to you. Pick out and reply to everything you don’t like in life (as you did here) and trample past everything else. That just sounds like stress to me, and I have enough of that without seeing daggers where there are none.

I still don’t think that makes it right to accuse people of homophobia, no matter how off hand. I don’t see anything normalizing homophobia in this comment, but again I just don’t like to assume these things. Lashing out was maybe a bit too far, but it’s still a fairly hurtful accusation for someone who didn’t mean anything.

Its a really big dick. Would you have made the same comment if the wizard saw the barbarian’s glorious asscheeks? I dunno. It’s just a dick to me. It’s a wad of flesh, just like any other wad of flesh.

And yes, I write long because I have severe unmedicated ADHD and social anxiety. And every time I try to convey myself, I punish myself for it. That’s my problem and I’m trying to deal with it.

As for challenging norms, you can teach someone to understand, but you can’t force them to accept. But understanding works both ways. It’s the same as any belief. Also, I wasn’t trying to project onto you, I’m sorry. I was just asking you to have a little forgiveness in your heart for the ignorant. I’m really trying hard to understand everything as much as I can.

And please don’t accuse me of homophobia for just trying to understand. I lost my virginity to another man, enjoyed it, and I’m extremely open about it to everyone (including my religious family) because I have no shame nor do I think it was wrong.

I only happened to fall in love with a woman later because she is an amazing person and she deserves all the love and loyalty I can give her. She’s my absolute best friend who I have no secrets from. I advocate love in every way, shape, and form.

I encourage advocation. Just… please try not to trample bystanders in the process.

And now I must get to bed. My anxiety kept me up looking for a reply, because I’m really not trying to upset you, I’m just trying to make sense of everything. And I guess I also just wanted to talk to someone and I’m honestly enjoying the chat (I’m talkative, if you hadn’t noticed, lol). I also don’t mind if you don’t read this. It is quite long…

There’s a point where the expectancy of homophobia becomes a phobia. You start to see it around every corner, take simple comments completely the wrong way, and overall cast judgement before trying to understand meaning. I understand the position you take on this and why you have come to your conclusion, but I don’t believe that that’s the context of the situation. I believe the size of the member in question has everything to do with it.

There are those out there that are instantly casting judgement on every conversation. The right and wrong meter fires up, and they see what they fear. They then live curled up, restrained, and tortured. They see eyes through every window, feel inferior (or worse, superior), and begin to think something is wrong with either them or everyone around them. They ruin possible relationships and become confrontational. You should live free, without fear, and put the stones down. You’re going to hurt someone who didn’t mean anything bad someday.

I’m with you in the fight against homophobia and transphobia, but we have to stop lashing out on suspicion. We have to really consider the following: Keeping your mind open and expecting the best in people often opens us to a better life with more opportunities. I like to try and see the best in people. I’ll occasionally become disappointed when those expectations fall, but I’d rather live like that than skipping straight to disappointment without giving others a chance.

It’s been a weight off my shoulders since I began to think like this. I no longer look through a window of doubt and unease at people when I meet them, I look right into the person themselves. I have seen people flinch or look away when I look them in the eye, because it’s a silent confirmation- it says, I see you, and it scares them sometimes. You might be surprised at how many people in the world go unseen and unheard, even in public situations, and its shocking to them when someone really listens, tries to understand, and reciprocates.

I went off a little bit, but returning to the comment in question. I don’t believe it was meant in any sort of disregard to any one walk of life. It sounds a bit to me like the commenter was describing their own painful disbelief through a random, nondescript character in a comedic and narrative way. It was in jest and made sense to them, and I can’t see any confrontational evidence in the comment that states otherwise. They did not state the gender of the wizard, they did not state the orientation of the wizard, nor did they state why they took psychological damage.

We shouldn’t add our own context to the story under assumption and be angry because we believe our assumption is right.

I’m sorry if I don’t reply to you right away after this. I spent a lot of time and consideration on my reply, and am now way past bedtime. I’m not trying belittle your thoughts and feelings… I’m just trying to explain how I see it the best I can.

I agree with you on that point. I got overly ambitious and have always wondered about making my own icon pack. When you do release, you should reach out to Delta icons in F-Droid and see if you can get your app requested! Everone gets one app request for free, and the project is completely free and open source.

I’ll post a finished product when it’s done if you want to use it anywhere. You can freely have it and license it under your project if you wish. I’ll try to finish it by tomorrow, and in the meantime if you have any other requests for art that you need, do not hesitate to ask. I think this is an amazing idea, and honestly could see other utilization for it.

For example, a color naming tool for the colorblind. With the way AI is, it could present examples of things of that color. For example, a lime green could show a tennis ball, bright grass, and other such samples. Could possibly used in aiding colorblind individuals in painting or digital art (though the paintings that come from a fully colorblind artist are wild and really cool when they just pick from the grays that look good to them).

This was what I was thinking. Vectoring the continents takes a bit of time, but it’s pretty fun, actually. I want to get some iris details in there, but would also like a bit of feedback from the community.

If you already have something else, that’s good as well. I honestly am having fun making this and I needed to get back into vector art anyway.

Let me take a fresh look at this in the morning. I’m having the itch to get up, boot up Inkscape and get something going via vector, but my sleep schedule will be completely screwed if I do that.

I’ll try to set an alarm or something, as I have pretty severe and unmedicated ADHD, but if someone could reply to this as well, as an extra reminder, I’d be grateful. I’ll probably remember when I open the app tomorrow, but better safe than sorry.

Its not often I get the itch to draw, but this really leaps out at me and I want to try. I have an idea of how I’d go about it. An eye looking slightly skyward with Earth as the pupil (if it hasn’t been done for something else yet). I don’t know if it’s within my skill, though.

Also, I believe there’s a way to translate vector to XML. I think I did it once when I was making a custom theme for MusicBee, but I’ll have to look again to be sure.

I didn’t mean to imply that you were suggesting Discord. I was just agreeing with you that channels would really help.

Sorry about that. I meant that OP could check out Revolt for an open source chat that had channels.

I agree here. As much as I hate Discord, it would be much better geared for this. Have you considered Revolt? I haven’t tried it myself, but it is the most prominent open source solution to Discord.

I used to go to the retirement home in the cul-de-sac down the road. No kids really thought about going there, they’d just stay on their own roads and streets. The old lonely folks there were practically waiting at the door, all outside lights on. My friend and I would make out like bandits every year with big bars, popcorn balls, homemade fudge and cake bars. Literal pillowcases full of top shelf candy and baked goods.

I can’t be sure, but it almost looks like the cop who shot her bent over laughing after. Watch them closely, the smoke nearly hides it. They take a split second like, “Should I do it?” then haul up and fire. Then it looks like, “Aw, I only shot her in the leg as a joke.” Innocent prank, I’m sure… cunts.

No, that would be assault with a deadly weapon. Everything is deadly in the hands of anyone who’s not a cop, remember.

I haven’t used base Firefox in years, tbh. I’m sure that there’s honestly no harm or foul here, but I’m not risking it anyway. I was using Zen, but Zen bloated itself so fast. You can now visually see a huge difference when switching from Zen to Floorp, so now Floorp is my number one again. Its a shame because Zen is gorgeous, but it was twenty times faster literally just two months ago. I can say for now that both Zen and Floorp don’t ask you to agree to the ToS.

For android I’ve been using Fennec. Its taken the mantle of Mull since Mull shut down and has everything you could want in a mobile browser. I have tried Ironfox, too, and its not too bad, but it has issues when opening through other apps and a lot of browser based logins don’t recognize inside their apps when you login through it. Two more honorable mentions for Android: Iceraven and Fulguris. Iceraven is a slightly more stripped down Fennec with less search engines and such, and Fulguris is it’s own thing, but has some of the problems that Ironfox does.

It definitely got less hyperactive and more fogbrain, as I like to call it.

Me sitting on the couch listening to my clock and making it go from “tick tock tick tock” to “tock tick tock tick” back and forth in my head for 27 minutes straight.

They do, but not all the time. Most people can stay on one subject. With some ND individuals, particularly those with ADHD, one subject is every subject depending on what you are thinking at the time.

Carnivals could have easily become candy making videos, because spinning cotton candy is like the process of candy making on a tiny level, but hey, have you seen them break a candy bubble in this vid?

Candy like that is actually really hot and I bet those burns suck if you get one. I grabbed a stick in the fire once and didn’t see the hot coal on the end, so I could only imagine what molten candy would do to you.

Its basically molding edible magma. Speaking of magma, did you know that Old Faithful is an underground volcano and if it erupted it would probably destroy half of North America? At least, that’s what I heard.

From here we could go onto apocalypse talk, National Parks, or even the Yellowstone TV series. The world is your oyster and your brain will not stop.

My posts and comments here on Lemmy speak for themselves…

Here’s my anxiety/ADHD journey:

Lexapro: Could not orgasm. My elbows became weirdly restless and I couldn’t sleep for more than four hours. Started becoming manic. I didn’t want to commit suicide, but the idea didn’t really upset me, either.

Zoloft: Everything with the Lexapro except the anorgasmia.

Wellbutrin: Angry as all hell for two weeks, then that gave way into a drooling stupor where I was content to just do nothing. At least with my ADHD I could do half of something.

Duloxetine: Ever wanted to sleep more than a day? Take this. I couldn’t stay awake for more than two hours at a time before sleeping 5-10 hours again. Also had a side effect called “excessive, disrupting, and disturbing yawning”. I’d have yawn attacks that would last 20-30 yawns. They were actually kind of frightening.

In the end I wound up going back to Kratom. None of the above worked for me. I seemed to have every side affect in the book.

Edit: I will make an honorable mention for Hydroxyzine. Its like a super benadryl. Its like… part anti-histamine, part anti-anxiety, and part pain reliever. Its generally super safe; it doesn’t mess with your body’s chemical balance.

That means you can take a hydroxyzine with most other meds and safely drink on it (it does compound the dizzyness and sleepyness so do NOT drive). Here’s the good part: with ADHD one standard pill will put you into a calm focus and you’ll feel awake (roughly 4-6 hours). Two at bedtime has the severe side effect of pillow drooling. You’ll go night night and it won’t force you to sleep (which tends to give me even worse panic attacks).

And it is EXTREMELY easy to get a prescription for, since its probably one of the safest and least mind altering anti anxiety you can take.