As a trans, AuDHD, DID system, I’m tired to buddy.

But the only way to not feel like that is community.

It doesn’t have to be much. Libraries offer ton of programming for all kinds of folks. Just start showing up unabashedly and if they don’t like it, you don’t have to stay either.

But the only way to survive is together.

How about you start organizing community?

That’s something you can actually do to resist.

So the general tailscale actually uses peer to peer wiregaurd connections. Headscale is the middle point to negotiate these wiregaurd connections.

So none of the traffic moves through the VPS.

As for a VPS itself, it’s noore unsafe than your local bare metal. It’s still an application publicly exposed and needs basic precautions like fail2ban or crowdsec

That’s also not an excuse to not try.