WAWAWAWAWAWA :3

  • 6 Posts
  • 90 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: July 15th, 2024
  • Cock_Inspecting_Asexual@lemmy.worldtoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Does anyone else hate knowing stuff and looking "smart"?
    1·
    3 months ago

    I want to agree, but I don’t wanna be downvoted or have some sort of Egotistical view of myself. But a lot of the time it can feel that way, especially when interacting with family or relatives.

    I’m Black, and I learned the hard way of what NOT to talk about when I’m around other black people my age. It’s a long ass story, but for years, I struggled to understand certain things we say or do as humans; why someone would be Christian but be so hateful towards their neighbor, how someone can livestream a shooting and get millions of views (This happens more so in the hood on Facebook), Why pointing out a fallacy in someone’s words can irritate them, or why people get so frustrated at me when I notice/point out something before others can do so.

    Idk, I dont think of myself as this fuckin “Hotshot MENSA smartass who knows everything and is better than everyone,” Cus I’m not. There’s always someone who’s far more knowledgeable in something than I am, and that’s okay! But oftentimes I feel like an alien or a mutant; from the way I talk all the way down to my interests; it always seems to separate me from others.

    There’s sooo many things I’m curious about!! But it seems like no one cares to converse with me about such things. Instead, they get frustrated with me, and I learned to instead Be Seen and not Heard. I want so badly to just—start up a conversation with someone IRL about some random ass topic I’ve been hyper-fixating over, but the only person I can ever talk about such things with is myself.

    A lot of the time I feel like I’m not actually supposed to be living on this plane of existence, like there’s some other universe or realm I shoulda been placed into. I feel like I get punished for questioning shit too much or being too open to so many topics. It’s like whatever I have a deep interest in at the moment, is not socially acceptable to talk about in public, I just don’t get it??

    Why are other people so stubborn about some things, Why can’t people ever listen and internalize some of the stuff I say? Why can’t I just, start up a conversation about religion, psychology, random ass medical facts, or like- (idk man it’s hard to pinpoint what stuff I talk about the most, but its often just shit I researched, like Mental disabilities and art, or how Alcohol could potentially be beneficial to people with really bad ADHD, or if the world suddenly went vegan, how would this impact the environment.)

    Like, I know WHY people dont wanna talk about shit like that? It can be morbid loaded or triggering but, why do people react so negatively? It just seems like a lot of people only want to look at things at face value, and if I question their viewpoints, I will always be punished, rather than the person engaging with the question, and then we start talking about it.

    Idk, It’d be nice to talk to people IRL about stuff and have them engage back with me. I wished people were more curious or had better introspection. How people react to certain things is the one thing I can never wrap my head around. I can sit here and boast about all the cool, scientific shit I know, yet, I can’t seem to relate to others or socialize properly? And to me, being social means everything!

    My “genius” means nothing if I can’t figure out where I fit in society. What’s the perks of being “smart or knowledgeable” if you have no one to share it with; EVEN WORSE is when the person already knows about that topic but assumes this self-righteous Dogma that, when challenged, they get hostile about it and claim superiority.

    I don’t like to think too highly of myself. I am still a human, I’m no better than anyone else, and there will always be some aspect of me that someone else has the upper hand on. I strive to remain humble, or I hope I’m being humble… But it’s through all this different shit I learned and researched it’s like… God, I feel like a platypus in a den of—anything else that isn’t a platypus. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I know more than everyone else; and that everyone is too “simple-minded”. There are times I fall into this weird egotistical view of myself; I’m just glad I’m able to recognize such feelings and address them.

    Idk, maybe I’m TOO introspective? To the point I gaslight myself… Maybe I just think too much?? What scares me is the fact I will never fucking know WHY or HOW I got into such a headspace. To have a question that can never be answered… It scares me, the fear of the unknown… There are things in my own mind I may never be able to comprehend, It’s like I’m completely colorblind and trying to imagine what green looks like. GOD, it seems so fucking simple but it isn’t?! Ugh… idk, Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

  • Cock_Inspecting_Asexual@lemmy.worldtoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable about many Americans constantly calling people "black" and "white" and making such a big thing about it?
    15·
    4 months ago

    ima say this, I never really liked all of the “politically correct ways” to refer to race. It always urked me when people would refer to me as “A person of color” or Bipoc. Like honey just call me Black, cus thats what I am. 😭

    I feel like theres this weird fear amongst some white people that if they say the wrong thing while a black person is present, that they’re life will be RUINED. Shit I even had a piano teacher express to me what was basically White guilt one time. She felt ashamed of herself for just being born white, and I remember just feeling absolutely awful that whatever the hell was happening in the media right now made her feel that way. I dont care about reparations or idk- whatever tf BLM the organization is babbling about (Bad organization btw, they’re shady. DO NOT give them your money.) I just want people to treat me like a person :/

    I dont want my white friends to “fear” for me or any of that shit (all I have is white friends lmao) Race is only relevant once I start cracking jokes about myself. I hate that in this day and age, there is this expectation that just because I’m black, that I MUST care about certain things. We tried moving away from pigeon-holing ourselves and only made it astronomically worse. You ever hear jokes about “Oh- White people always do this-” or “Black people don’t do that”? THAT WAS THE GATEWAY to segregating ourselves all over again, and we perpetuated it! We AS BLACK PEOPLE, saw ourselves as certain way and made it so that its an expectation TO be that certain way. Do you have any idea how many weird looks I get when I tell another black person I’m Agnostic? The response is almost always “Nah what?? Your black and you don’t go to church or any of that? Thats crazy…”

    TBH a lot of the bullying I got through my entire life was by other black people, and that was when I realized that even we have prejudice against our own people. Dude- WE STEREOTYPE OURSELVES!! All the time! So much so I got a whole ass list of things Black people arent supposed to do ENTIERLY CURATED from comments I got by other black people.

    Black people dont:

    -dress goth

    -dress emo

    -obsessed over horror

    -talk about bugs or etomology

    -Wear Japanese Kawaii fashion

    -wear hoop skirts(?)

    -Talk “white”

    -research about mental health

    -TALK about mental health

    -tell others they have mental health issues

    -Engage in “Heathenism”

    -talk about shakra’s or Astrology (even though a massive portion of that community tends to be black chicks but whatever)

    -Wear cat ears

    -wear furry tails

    -become furries/wear fursuits

    -listen to Hyperpop/Vaporwave/1930’s music/noise music/ anything that has to do with new-age alternative/experimental -music

    idk, I hope me going off about this wasn’t offensive or some shit, but what I’m basically trynna say is white people aint the bad guys a lotta the time, deadass we can become our own enemy, and that goes to any Gay, Trans, Black, Mexican, etc etc. But the only people to experience that typa shit would have to be people in those communities, and a lot of the time, we get scared to actually speak out about that stuff out of fear of being ostracized by own own people simply cus we don’t fit some sort of Behavioral quota.

    if there was anyone or anything I could 100% point to as being an enemy or crooked, its the rich 1% People wanna always be like “oh the rich old white men…” Honey, theres black people there doing the same thing. Like be real with me, do yall got any fuckin clue how many Rappers just blow up and become stupid rich. And then what do they do with all that wealth?? Spend it on dumb shit the same way a privileged white boy would, and not a single fuckin bit goes back into donating to the black community let alone bettering the already shitty conditions we live in. If anything most of em make the stereotyping WORSE being acting as some kind of figurehead for the Hood. If a black person gets stupid rich stupid quick, 9/10 they’re going to become a terrible person and not give a rats ass about poor people. They’re rich, why would they need to?

    I used to be so scared of the hood growing up, I live in a mostly white neighborhood full of friendly old white ladies. But the music- Oh my god it made it seem like if I breathed wrong, I was gonna get shot or gangr8pd INSTANTLY. Bro, the hood is full of so many friendly communities. People will walk over to each others houses n shit ALL THE TIME and have cookouts and little community gatherings. So much so its a meme about the shit we do at cookouts. I still sometimes face prejudice now, but its mostly from younger black kids who are just naive asf. But fr, the Hiphop industry and the shit they churn out DOES NOT HELP, it just worsens the idea that we black folks gotta act hard and be hard and shoot a mofucker if they look at you sideways and ALLLLLLLLLL that. Female rap is even worse. More likely than not though, the reason the music is like that is cus of the industry doing that shit on purpose, how tf else did Sexxy Red or Ice Spice get as popular as they did?

    Alright thanks for coming to my TEDtalk, there was refreshments in the back but I ate all the biscuits n gravy, mah bad.