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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Caradoc879@lemmy.worldtoADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.comThey'll never understand
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    11 months ago

    Thats a real team-based solution focused attitude lol. Nowhere did I say “do it for them”. I said help them. Because hey guess what, sometimes people can’t do things by themselves. Like I said, standing behind someone and going “just do it” doesn’t work. If they need help they need help. And yeah, at some point if they can’t do it, they can’t do it, and you need someone else to do it.

    The key is finding responsibilities and roles that fit the disability. I struggle with the day to day chores, but I also have no problem with scheuled big, non-daily projects like deep cleaning or yard work or whatnot that i can hyperfocus on for 6 hours. It’s all about strengths and weaknesses and finding people and jobs that are compatible.

    Nothing you’ve said I inherently disagree with, your tone is just so aggressively dismissive and accusatory.



  • Competent at what specifically? Basic daily life like chores and dishes? External motivators are way better than internal. I never clean “for myself”. I clean because my wife needs it for her emotional well-being, and I clean because it would be embarrassing for guest or maintenance to see it.

    Other potential options are therapy and medication, but I acknowledge the privelage of having them and that many people dont have that as an option. And obviously I’m just some dude so take it all as anecdotal evidence.

    But for me it comes down to I will rarely do things for myself, so mentally framing them as for other people makes it easier


  • Caradoc879@lemmy.worldtoADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.comThey'll never understand
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    11 months ago

    But sometimes "I just couldn’t ’ is the answer. You dont mad that a fish can’t climb a tree. First you ask why the fish needs to be in the tree. And then if it really does, you help the fish get into the tree. Standing behind it shouting words of encouragement or tgreats mean nothing when a fish can’t climb. Far too often people get caught up so much on blaming and shaming people for mistakes or failures that it turns relationships sour and the original problem still doesn’t get solved.



  • Yep. I live in a suburb outside a major city. To get to the “train station” without a car, I’d need to walk over a mile to the closest bus stop, take that bus up the road to a transfer, take that bus to the light rail station, then take that light rail to the train station. 1 1/2 hours vs 45 minutes driving. And if I’m already driving 45 minutes anyway, I’d rather just stay in my car and go straight to my destination.

    Another ignored factor is safety. depending on the city (like mine), public transportation is full of mentally ill and people on drugs. I’ve seen more fights and freaky shit on public transportation than I have the rest of my life combined. I had to physically intervene a dude harassing my client with autism once and shove him out the door. That was the last time I took public transportation because it’s not worth my safety. Thanks drug decriminalization.



  • Jokes aside, I generally hate this mentality. “Why were you looking at x”.

    Cause it’s different from the usual. Brains are wired to spot differences and things that are out of the ordinary. Erections stick out (heh). Same as putting ‘Juicy’ on butts of pants. Bannana hammocks on dudes at tge beach. People with unique body shapes like super muscle torsos or big asses.

    Or maybe I’m just horny…