There seem to be plentiful options for text chat servers, so I’m curious for those that self-host their own, what their preferences & experiences have been with them.
Also those mentioned in the title were just a few examples, if you run something else, e.g. Revolt or Mattermost or something else less popular, would be interested in reading about it!
Place where you have most of your friends…
Used to xmpp, but it died naturally over the time and someday I just stopped my prosody server. Nowadays - a bit of IRC (few friends still are there) and discord (not selfhosted, but from all the alternatives… feels best).
I mostly love discord. I wish it could be self hosted with federated identities, though.
Have you tried Revolt.chat?
XMPP didn’t really die a natural death, it was kind of murdered. It’s still around though, and works great, but of course the problem is as you mentioned — your friends probably aren’t using it.